To All You Jacks.

There once was a man named Jack.
Jack really loved to leave the toilet seat up.
One not so average day, however,
Jack had a nasty run in with an angry girlfriend who chopped off his hands.
This experience forever changed Jack's life.
Now Jack is forced to pee in a bucket outside instead.
And, I am sorry to reveal this shocking detail but,
at times Jack sometimes even resorts to peeing in his pants.
Poor poor Jack.

The moral to this story is if you don't want to lose limbs, put the #$¥%# seat down!!!