If I Were A Villan...

If I were a villain
There'd be none of this tosh
Trap the hero straight away
And steal all their dosh

If I were a villain
I'd not tell them my plan
I'd start the machine up
And hit them with a tin can

If I were a villain
I'd do the evil deed
Then perhaps torture the hero
But I'll stop if they bleed

If I were a villain
I would take control
Everyone is mine
But (as I'm nice) I'd leave them a gallon of petrol

If I were a villain
The hero would be no more
Sent to jail
Because that's what my jails are for!

If I were a villain
Well I wouldn't be now
I'd be king/queen of the world!
And demand every day for a huggable cow

Because evil isn't my true passion
All I ever wanted was a cow farm
Now I reign over you
I can do no harm.