You: I hate my life
Friend: Why?
You: I'm 22, work in fast food, and will probably never do anything better
Friend: Don't say that!
You: My co-worker makes fun of me all day and if I told my boss he'd just cut my already terrible salary. My only friend is mentally retarded, and everyone we do is stupid. I can't leave town because I fail my driving test. And you know what the worst part is?
Friend: :( What?
You: I live in a pineapple under the sea
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