As I lay awake last night, I pondered about what exactly has changed in my life. As I lay there, I felt completely and utterly bored senseless. So I turned my phone on, cleared through the 20-odd emails that had piled up in my inbox, the late Christmas texts from mysterious numbers that I don't even want to know the owners of, and gazed at a few pictures of the people I love most in the world. But I still felt bored, and even then this morning routine I'd established seemed somewhat dull and predictable. I suppose the word routine gives it the sense of predictability, but dull?
So I went through my phone and searched for what once was, and what had once kept my days and sleepless nights so full of activity. Then, I uncovered my 'Pages' app, hidden in the folder 'Old Apps'. It had been strewn aside, tossed aside like an unwanted piece of garbage. So I opened it, and read, to my delight, the beginnings of my story 'Love You So/Too'. Now I read it again, I wonder whether I was actually thinking when I wrote it. The memories and the synopsis are similar to my life, but it just because too intangible, too unbelievable. And the writing style was awful, not to mention to amassed iPhone spelling mistakes.
So, I vowed to myself to get back on Opuss. My life has found new direction again, a new boyfriend, and a fresh start is well needed. I've gone from rank 40 to 800-and-something, but I'm not doing it for that anymore. If no one gets to read this then it won't be any heartache to me. Sure, I'd like it if some people did, but if no one reads my somewhat random journalistic ramblings then it won't get to me the way it used to with my story. It became too personal, like I was living it out all over again, so every time I wrote a chapter and it didn't get the same response as the last, I took that to heart too much.
But I'm back, and I'm shiny and new, and my life is now on a path towards the career in journalism that I always wanted, and that I'm sure I will enjoy. The money is bad, the hours are long, the deadlines are stressful, but as I heard once said: 'I faced the daunting decision between the medical profession and journalism. I chose journalism. Journalists have better parties'
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@KatyTiffanyNYC
I hope you enjoy my opusses! Proud employee of Vogue magazine. Kik: cest_moi_nyc. I follow back!
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