@Mad4books

Lame Joke

2 crisps walking down the round. car pulls up along side them and says " wanna lift?" they reply " no thanks, were walkers".

@jooovina

Depression Makes Us Fat!

When I am depressed, I cut myself.... A piece of cake.

@ILikeSoup

My shop bought cake lists in its ingredients "anti-caking agent". I want more not less!.

@beruangkecil

Poisonous Apple

How to prepare a poisonous apple: Mix the following ingrediens: A bucket of hate A bottle of anger A drop of jealousy Cook over medium heat and come to a boil. Drop the apple into the mixture.

@jojo29

Why?

Why do biscuits taste so much better after you dunk them in tea?....

@marketick

English Breakfast

It is quite surprising how simple to prepare an English breakfast yet people actually go out and pay for it all the time..

@doctormarten

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it..

@ralphlaurensomerville

Red Soup

12 tomatoes 3 carrots 3 sticks of celery 2 red peppers 2 chilli 5 cloves of garlic A bit of paprika Salt and pepper Chicken stock and water Chop everything up ( no peeling required) Put it in a pan...