On Getting Rescued By A lifeguard At The Beach

@kidnapthesandyclaws

Well I'm Not Good With Titles xD

Two boys and a pregnant lady are at a bus stop. One of the boys asks the lady: what are you expecting. lady replies: a bus The boy turns his friend and says: holy shit dude, she fucked a transformer.

@Andy_Hayhurst

Assange

After numerous requests to leave the embassy, Julian Assange was reported to scream "NO MEANS NO!".

@lovebugmodel

A Stupid Joke

One day there was an old man who's name was Jeffrey and he was a bit deaf. So he asked his next door neighbour what his house should be called and his next door neighbour said fairy plum.

@Supertecnoboff

Silence

There was a survey on why men liked blowjobs - 5% liked the look, 15% liked the feel and the other 80% liked the silence!.

@Lushee

Always Need Protection

Dad "I'm gonna put a hand full of condoms in the glove compartment of the car ...

@eddie

awsome.

right so i was banging this hoe and and her boy friend walked in and i was like WO. bdum tschhh.

@AnonLifeliver

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat comes along and flashes at them. One of them has a stroke, the other one couldn't quite reach. :D.

@helo

Beer Library

A man walks into a library and asks the lady behind the desk loudly' CAN I HAVE 3 BOTTLES OF BEER PLEASE' The lady replies sorry sir this a library.