Britney the Brit

Her name is Britney,
She's a Brit,
She drinks black tea,
And babysits,
In day, she speaks Queen's English, true,
In night, it's Cockney, jam jar, too,
She feeds the pigeons, eats the beans,
She lives in London, with the Queen,
She boils meat and watches Soaps,
Has badges pinned on all her coats,
She wears brown tweed,
Drinks wine from glasses,
Spends her nights,
In Yoga classes,
Fish and chips and evening tea,
Eats Camembert instead of Brie,
She reads the paper,
Takes the tube,
And keeps a cool, sarcastic mood,
Eats mushy peas,
Uses the loo,
To do what Britney,
Has to do,
She walks the dog,
Across the fields,
Her armour strong,
And never yields,
Lives in a castle,
Proper spoken,
Nocturnal,
But can not be woken,
Goes to market,
Every morn,
To buy her milk,
Before the dawn,
Has proper posture,
Mary Poppins,
Studies hard,
A right old boffin,
Chocolate spread and Marmite jars,
Croquet, tennis,
Golf at par,
Charles, Phillip, Lizzie, too,
Lots of game and rabbit stew,
Shot guns, rifles,
Bowler hats,
Several ginger,
English cats,
Monocles, carrots and ravens,
Towers, monarchs, penny savings,
England born,
Britney the Brit,
The Brittest Brit,
You'll ever get.