Clouds

@sjwijaya

I Don't Give A Crap

Take it up with my butt. He's the only one that gives a crap. - Peter Griffin, Family Guy.

@faruc

Bro Code #20

A bro respects all his bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday..

@hallofrumors

Facebook Ate My Homework

Teacher: Where is your homework. Student: I uploaded it on Facebook and I tagged you in it..

@hallofrumors

The Idea From The Meeting

Sometimes, I'll stand up in a meeting and say, "You just gave me an idea!" Then I leave the room, drive home, and go to bed..

@hallofrumors

Handsome

If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?.

@Allmec

Goldfish?

ABCD gol'fish MNO gol'fish SDR gol'fish RDL gol'fish S is RDR gol'fish It's been a long train journey home!.

@RhysHoran

Another Jodi-ism

My sister arrived home from a driving lesson yesterday and exclaimed: "I was driving along and I think I might have accidentally hit a peasant." Oh my, how we laughed..

@alg123

If you are what you eat you might as well eat a skinny person!!.