@mort

Don't Do It

Never have sex on the beach Why. I hear you ask Think about it!!!!!. It would be like masturbating with sandpaper!!. Ooooooouch!!!!.

@Andy_Hayhurst

Bus Strikes

Everyone is very worried that the busses won't be running during the Olympics. No one more so than Al-Qaeda..

@Andy_Hayhurst

Child Obesity

Paedophilia is on the decrease as a direct result of child obesity. Keep our children safe, keep our children fat.... No one wants to fuck a fat kid..

@albisher

Q. What do a Turtle and a Pedophile have in common. A. They both want to get there before the 'hair' does..

@Supertecnoboff

Porn Star

My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out..

@albisher

Q. What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully. A. Miracle whip..

@albisher

Q. Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS. A. They can't get the laboratory mice to arse fuck..

@albisher

Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur. Answer: Mega-sore-ass..