Don't Do It

@Andy_Hayhurst

Child Obesity

Paedophilia is on the decrease as a direct result of child obesity. Keep our children safe, keep our children fat.... No one wants to fuck a fat kid..

@Supertecnoboff

Porn Star

My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out..

@albisher

Q. Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS. A. They can't get the laboratory mice to arse fuck..

@OKcatJYPkiss

awkward Love

What I do when I like somebody: 1% - Talk to them. 99% - Stare..

@Andy_Hayhurst

Religion

If you can get past all the nonsense. All religions share the same message, which is.... Try not to be a cunt!.

@Andy_Hayhurst

My Stand Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YWZNEbkE7s.

@TheRainbowUnicorn

Passing or Failing

Daughter: Dad, what's better; passing or failing. Dad: Passing, of course Daughter: Oh good, because I passed my pregnancy test:) Dad:#%^?!~.

@Andy_Hayhurst

Bus Strikes

Everyone is very worried that the busses won't be running during the Olympics. No one more so than Al-Qaeda..