Well...This Is New - 38

This morning, I woke up. And I took a breath.
And I decided that I could do this.
I could go to school, and put on a smile, and no one would know my pain. And then I could forget it, too, for a little bit. I could curl my hair, wear my pink blouse, giggle with my friends and maybe see Jason.
"No one has to know your pain," I told myself. "Only you. And then if you need to, you can come home and curl up in bed and cry. And no one will have to worry."
But I didn't feel like crying. I felt calm. My heart hurt, but I felt calm.
I curled my hair and did my makeup, putting on a pretty pink blouse to look Valentine's Day festive. I put on my favorite boots, and decided I looked okay, fluffing my hair a bit.
I went to school and he came in, and I closed my eyes for a second, because my feelings were still so strong.
He smiled at me, acted like nothing was wrong. So did I. I knew it would be best.
I simply focused on my math homework and listened to him as he chattered on about something. I just kept smiling, laughing, nodding. He didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.
The bell rang and I told Sally I'd walk her to math.
He looked at me, frowning.
"Walk me to math," he said, standing next to me.
I looked up at him, and swallowed. "No."
He looked at me, eyes flickering. Then, he smiled.
"Oh, that's right," he said. "You're mad at me for no reason."
"No," I protested, slipping my arm around Sally. "That's not it."
I brought her to math and told her goodbye, my stomach twisting. This was going to be harder than I thought.