Sandwich

@Bwanadik

I walked into the boss's office and handed him a pear. "What's this for?" He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you.".

@Bwanadik

Is it too early to say J.R. abused me or shall I wait?.

@Bwanadik

Why does an elephant have four feet. Six inches isn’t enough..

@dobowet

Unexpected

I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house. After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.

@chickgamer

Dairy Queen

How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant. Burger King forgot to wrap his whooper!.

@Bwanadik

The other day I was helping my Uncle Jack, off a horse. It was the day I realised the importance of grammar..

@Bwanadik

My girlfriend left me because I've put weight on. She even said that my thumbs were too fat. Botch..

@MacDoom

Jimmy Saville Joke

Jimmy Saville is on a plane with two children. The plane is about to crash, but there are only two parachutes. Jimmy: Should we give the parachutes to the children. Pilot: F*** the children!.