The Fall And Rise Of An Agrophobic

Outside is fear
Inside is steady
Outside is the unknown
Inside I'm ready
Outside I panic and double up in pain
Inside I'm lonely my symptoms, my shame
Outside... I can't go anymore, not even the garden, not without a phone
Inside...I'm safe, my heart beats steady, inside I'm loved and am always ready
Our neighbours do my shopping, they're seventy three
It's not right that I'm inside, guilty, so unhappy
I care for my paralysed husband, he needs me well
I need to get out, I need someone to tell

3 years later....

I went to the doctors, he said it was stress
It was hard to come to terms with now that life was a mess
I found courage and solace online in others like me
Set up my own website, to compare and be free
I was diagnosed, I took each day as it came
I'm back at work, life will never be the same

Inside I'm so happy we are now three
Outside I'm coping, now that we're family
Inside I help others who suffer like me
Outside I'm still wary of all that I see
Inside I've learned to accept the way I am
Outside I have fun with our new little man.

*dedicated to two great friends. Found out today they have number two on the way.