Yes Prime Minister

Imagine if you will, as these conversations never (or did they) took place, a man who looks as if he doesn't shave, let's call him David, he's Prime Minister and various cabinet ministers lets call them w******s, in a grand Georgian house, in a little office in a little street called Downing.

Monday:

David: Yes? Come in.
Education secretary: you know that quite frankly Draconian and right wing policy we were talking about last year?
David: yes?
Education secretary: well, I think we should go for it. Cut pay rises. Encourage folk to set up there own schools, so we don't have to finance, cut funding so buildings fall in to disrepair. We can recreate the class society. It means a huge cut in our spending.
David: Great, and we can blame it on the financial crisis.

Tuesday

David: I've been thinking about the police. Too many, don't you think?
Home Secretary: absolutely, crime is down, that's what the botched figures say.
David: lets cut thousands of police jobs, save done money. Another right wing policy we can sneak through.
Home Secretary: how?
David: the financial crisis!! We have to cut cut cut. Tee hee. Great isn't it. Lets blame the previous lot. The papers will back us. They hated Grumpy.

Wednesday

Dept for Work and Pensions: we need to overhaul the welfare system. We shouldn't be giving bloody hand outs to lay abouts, single mums, and those with a bad back.
David: of course we shouldn't. Lets scrap the welfare system!
DWP: we can't do that we'll never get away with it.
David: of course we will. We'll start of slow, get rid of the scroungers benefit, mothers place is at home, she doesn't need help, reduce old age pensions, disabled people can work, let's change that invalidity one too. All in the name of repaying the debt in a financial crisis. I'm really enjoying this. Even that Nick Pegg hadn't spotted what we're doing. But I think Vincent is on to us.

Thursday

Health secretary: its not looking good David. We've too many doctors and nurses and can't pay them.
David: that's ok. You know we want to scrap a national health system anyway. They want health care- let em pay for it. We can start cutting now. Doctors surgeries? Do we need them? Cleaners- do we need to clean every day?
Health secretary: your a genius David. We can blame it on the financial crisis. Nobody understands what the hell is going on anyway.

Friday

Defence secretary: too many boats, too many planes, too many men fighting for our freedom.
David: get rid of them. Save us a few billion. We are of course in uncertain times with a whopping debt to repay.
Defence secretary: good work sir. All done under the radar.