Sign In
Back

LMAO!

The Queen missed out on a great opportunity tonight...

Instead of opening the games, she should have stood and said: "I now hold hostage the heads of state of 200 countries. I now claim your countries as my own and from hereon they are part of the United Kingdom. This stadium is surrounded by 18,000 armed police and army troops who will kill anybody who objects to this."

(sent to me by a friend, made me laugh!)

sjw

@sjw

Opuss has given me a love of words and writing...

100
Stories

Similar Stories

oushie12
@oushie12

Joke #2

When asked how he would like to die this man said: "I would like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming and yelling like the other passengers in the car he was...

59 words
shazydee
@shazydee

Man Jokes

I know these jokes are old but I found them funny.

207 words
charlesthepig
@charlesthepig

Why We Need A New World Order...

If there were to be one single peace-loving government of the world, no border would close, no child would be left uneducated, there would be universal healthcare, employment could be shared so all...

132 words
Eatonlynch
@Eatonlynch

Bruno mars

Bruno mars: When I'm a billionaire. Girl: Will you buy me some clothes. Bruno mars: Girl your AMAZING, just the way you are. Girl: Do u really mean that. Bruno mars: Darling I'd catch a grenade for...

57 words
sammielee46
@sammielee46

Two Old Men

This is based on a joke I read, I've reworded it into a poem.

132 words
glen
@glen

Vote Glen

Not 'if', but when I become prime minister, things are going to change. This countries lost its identity, but this I plan to change. I want to bring the Empire back, this countries become a bore.

139 words
InkyPiano
@InkyPiano

Getting Into Heaven

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have had a really bad day before you died.

629 words
leelee101
@leelee101

It's Good To Invent.... Pt. 2

Are you frustrated at everyday life. Bored with your job. Fed up with your boss. Need to sound off without any comeback. Ronco proudly presents... BOB-O-MATIC.

214 words

Comments & Feedback (24)

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§πŸ‘

My grandma and me cant stop chuckling πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ˜˜

I think this was what was going through her head during ceremony, hence her sour face.. That plus.. 'one used to own them.. And them.. And them' πŸ˜‚

HahaπŸ˜‚ and she had obamas wife in there! Game over! World domination!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

@naaviie @minxyMolly @twistedtail hilarious isn't it! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

@Burrfoot awww bless her, I didn't think of that she was probably depressed afterwards...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

@gazplend very true πŸ˜‚ wonder if he would've payed a ransom for her!?! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Hahahahaha am I right in saying the archbishop of canterbury was sitting next to her too?? Says it all really! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

@smellyfingers pmsl! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thanks for the RP hun πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹

@pthasse thank you for the RP ☺

I had to it is hilarious! πŸ˜‚

LOL! XD

@nikujagagirl @pthasse πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

@mikeyedmender thanks for the RP 😘

@gazplend thanks for the RP hunni πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹

@eddthegreat thanks for the RP ☺

Ha ha. Step away from the biscuit barrel.

@yowwa πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ lol!

Best plan ever.

@IX isn't it lol 😘

@sjw shoulda fired her out of a cannon:D

[This comment has been deleted]

@yowwa @RichWithey made me laugh sooo much πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’£

Similar Writers