Shoe Poo

There are lots of little things in this life,
that cause you trouble, that cause you strife,
Theres not a lot you can say or a lot that you can do,
Once shoe poo happens to you,
It sneaks up on you when you are least expectin it,
Its crafty little monkey that sneaky shoe shit,
It smacks you in the face when you trying on a pretty dress,
And makes you look a right minging mess,
I hate that meanie that crafty shoe turd,
It always has to have the blooming last word,
I has a laugh when your at the bar for a Stella,
And the last pint has been drunk by another fella,
Im not happy with that horrid little poo,
Now that its soiled my once pretty shoe,
It giggles when your face has the massivest spot,
The night before a date with someone totally hot,
It makes me emotional and my knuckles go white,
How I loathe that little bastard shoe shite,
It merrily chuckles when your on a job interview,
And you come actross as a right stupid daft old moo,
Ooo I want to batter that trotter shoe crap,
As it comes and dumps itself in your lap,
Shoe poo is mean and rude and not my friend,
When will this eternal war ever end?
Ive come to realise that shoe poo always conquers,
And eventually will end up driving me totally bonkers!!