Promise Me -- PART TWO.

When the doctors come in, I awaken from a slumber I hadn't realised I was under.
"What's wrong?" I stammer sleepily. I then remember where I am - by my mother's deathbed - and immediately regain my stance, and raise from the plastic-coated chair I'm sat in.

A female nurse looks at me, as if she hadn't noticed I was there before I'd spoken. I suppose they've gotten so used to me hanging around here; I never leave. "You need to step outside a minute, dear." she says.

I glance at my mother for the first time since I awakened. She is lying motionless on the bed, and the machine that monitors her heart is beeping furiously.
"No." I mouth. "No!"

The nurse seems to think I was responding to her comment. "I really think its best if you do," she says, monotonously. She probably does things like this everyday. It's probably routine to her, boring.

I focus my eyes on my fragile mother.
"Come on," I whisper. "You can make it another day."
And then I'm hustled out of the room, no time for protests.

"She can't leave me! She can't! I didn't get to say goodbye..." I slam my head against the poster-clad wall of the waiting room.

"Hey! Stop," the nurse cries, prying me from the wall and sitting me down on a chair. "You can't beat yourself up about this. You knew it was going to happen at some point."

What a way to make someone feel better. Of course I'd known she was going to die, but it still didn't take away the reality that it was about to happen now!

I give the nurse a sharp look, and she turns to leave. "I'll be back with any news."

I nod, and lay my head in my hands. This isn't how I'd planned it. I'd wanted to give her a proper goodbye, be there when it happened; hold her hand so she wouldn't be scared. I never even got to tell her I loved her.