hole

two am
thunder
pouring shame
pouring rain
my mind wonders
my body still
forgot to take all my pills
the ones I need
my doctor told me this
don't ask why,
just take the hint
no you're crazy
trust me
trust me
swallow poison
trust me
now I'm drowning in it
in the poison
in your eyes
self harm
cut up thighs
lies
lies inside me
inside my head
leave me alone
let me go to bed
white noise distracts my mind
it won't let me sleep
and leave myself behind
I remember him playing his guitar
in the cafeteria
a nirvana song
a song Kurt sung
he killed himself
he escaped the way he thought necessary
I would never kill myself
he did
what a waste
now he's floating through time and space
wondering if he'll ever be replaced
they're all trying
trying to replace him
all dying
dying to erase him
erase me
erase the boy who might understand
erase his girlfriend
erase his plan
make me his plan
plan his make me
can't you see
my mind isn't free
thoughts lead to more thoughts
more thoughts
thinking thoughts that I think I thought i had already thought
make a bet with my mind
slowly kill time
time doesn't exist
it's just a way to measure the time it takes for our cadavers to become life less
Kurt made his end quickly
that boy played his guitar
I want him
him want I
I want him to want
to want me
not her
but it's fair
she can have him first
I'll just wait until they're through
then it'll be my turn
I can be friend zoned for now
then jump in later
break rules
fuck girl code
see you later
my mind is a mess
I feel
like
a
b
lack
hole