Dear Stalker
What can I say? I'm flattered that I fill your days, move you in inexplicable ways but... I really do need my private space.
Thank you for rearranging my home but I really do like where my things go. Please can you leave my belongings alone.
My cat may like to be fed but whatever you gave her made her sick on the bed. I don't like her ill and worry whatever you gave her could kill. It was quite an expensive vet bill.
Don't come in my car for a ride. Don't sleep by my side. Please don't trespass, you're not a welcome guest.
This is a friendly warning, for all the secret late night calling. Next time you break in, I'm getting an injunction!
I love my fans but I'm not your man.
Thanks for your support - although a bit bizarre - you've taken things a 'little' too far.
Sincerely yours
Super Star
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