Hi guys. So recently you may or may not have noticed that I haven't posted for a while.. Well the truth behind it is that I've been ill, erm mentally ill. I've been diagnosed with depression and just couldn't face the outside world or anything that connected me to the outside world. I've become a recluse.
I'm not writing this to get sympathy, I'm writing this so people understand the effects depression can have on people. My weight has dropped dramatically which in itself has made me ill. My state of mind is, well, extremely unstable and I don't feel safe anytime or day in fear of what I could do to myself. I self harm now too as it gives me a way of showing how much I hate myself and in a strange way, I'm released from the pain bullies cause by inflicting pain on myself. It sounds so odd and weird but in all honestly it is, and no one will understand what it's like to feel like this until they experience the feelings, the fear, the exhaustion of hating yourself.
I may as well be an alien.
From here on out, I'm going to document my feelings and connect to the outside world via this just so any other 'victims' of depression can relate to me and maybe one day my story could help someone.
Velvet x x
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