Pain Inside

This maybe a little explicit. Just wanted to vent about feelings I had in the past. I sometimes worry it'll all come back when times get hard.

I'm sitting here alone and quiet. Thinking about my life so private.

To all of you I pushed away, It's only cos my life's astray.

The fear of being alone and rejected, this is why I'm broke and defective.

With no one here by my side. I sit. I stare. I cry and cry.

To let go of this pain inside. I fear it simply will not die.

Festering in me like bacteria. Til it causes complete hysteria.

All jokes and silly rhymes aside. There's been some nights I nearly died.

The weight of knowing no one cares, I feel my life is just despair.

So I sit and hold the knife, I cry and cry and pray for advice.

I waited for the time to come, some one to make the pain undone.

But no one came, I'm all alone. Never to be rescued, I've always known.

Why do I try to hide the pain, when everyday feels exactly the same.

But on an even sadder note. I'm still alive but want to choke. The freeing thought that I may die, trouble is Its all a lie.