Oz

@Bilaterus

The Coldness

From the comfort of your bed, to the furriness of your slippers, shuffling along the carpet and gently opening the toilet door. But when you sit on the freezing seat, you shout in your mind "Shit!".

@ty-213

Never Go Shopping Without Headphones

One day, a girl went into a music shop. A Justin Beiber song was playing and it caused her ears to shrivel up and fall off. Moral of the story children- never go shopping without headphones..

@darraghoco

Brocabulary

My name is Broseph. My broffesion is a broffesional bro karter. Ive formed a bro-alition with brosaphine. Thank you for listening bros..

@darraghoco

How I met your mother is modern f.r.i.e.n.d.s!.

@rebeccanicholl

My Granny Has A Goat

"Mum!!. Have you seen Billy?" "No!" replied mum. Billy is my Granny's goat. My granny is 82 and has a boyfriend called Bob, yes I said she was 82 and has a boyfriend.

@Bilaterus

A Slow Day

"You have been charged with breaking and entering, destruction of property and homicide. Does the defendant have anything to say?" The guilty man slowly rose and faced the judge.

@trueblood98

Bed Bugs

When I was 5 years old. My dad only once always say to me before I go to bed, " Don't let the bed bugs bite." And then, I would start crying, scared that bugs might creep into my room, and bite me..

@Isadora

A Ginger Man

Once upon a time there was a man with ginger hair. He had no eyes nor ears. They said he had ginger hair so to speak. He could not talk as he had no mouth; he could not smell as he had no nose.