I felt alive this morning, for the first time in a while i felt human. I could feel myself inhale, hear myself exhale. Feel the tickle of the breeze from my window on my bare shoulders. I was awake. Alive. Human. And I felt okay.
My eyes were still closed though. I don't know why but I didn't want to see. I see all day every day, occasionally cleaning the lenses of my glasses. Not now. I want to feel.
I relaxed every muscle in my body, let myself go. Ready for emotions to flow to the surface. Show themselves. I could fern them building. I didn't like it. I didn't want to feel this. I began to frown, my fists clenched. Pain and anger started coursing through my veins. I didn't want to feel anymore. I wanted to see.
I opened my eyes, light flooding to my pupils. I took slow deep breaths as my fists relaxed and my frown disappeared. I reached for my glassed, wiped the lenses on my wrinkled duvet, and put them on. I felt relief over my body. I can see. I can't feel, but I can see.
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