@LIAM7

One Day The President was out jogging without his guards. All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun. The masked man said "Give me all your money.

@daisyrocks2012

Yo mamas so fat when she fell down stairs you thought u missed Eastenders !.

@Supertecnoboff

Gordon Brown

Knock knock ...... Who's there . ...... David ...... David Who . ...... Gordon open the fucking door and get out of my house..

@Supertecnoboff

Hitler

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler..

@Supertecnoboff

David Cameron

I don't know why David Cameron is so set on raising student fees; the last thing he tried to raise died at age six..

@Supertecnoboff

Referendum

I'm voting 'yes' in the referendum on the alternative vote. And my second preference is 'no'..

@Supertecnoboff

Alistair Darling

If Alistair Darling wants to make some popular cuts, may I suggest his throat and wrists?.

@sm-210

If i had a pound for every time David Cameron said he was going to sort the countries problems out, I'd be rich enough to live under a Tory government..