Ok it's now official,
I'm definitely overweight.
Too many summer icecreams;
Big dinners on my plate.
I really don't want to exercise,
But methinks I have no choice.
My body needs toning;
I'm ignoring that little voice.
The one that says have another,
Go on you know you want it.
I shall be resolute, I shall stand firm,
I am determined to be fit.
What prompted this I'm sure you ask
Why definite and not maybe?
Speaking to someone yesterday
She thought I was expecting a baby!
Her mortification new no bounds,
Her face turned brilliant red,
As I tried to keep my expression bland.
While obviously wishing her dead.
Not pregnant says I, I'm just fat,
And I attempt to pull it in.
But my stomach simply sat there.
Oh how I wish that I was slim!
So I shall join Sophie's chickens
In their exercise regimes.
And maybe by the end of summer
I'll get into my old jeans.
So that's the plan, I'll be very strong.
My willpower will be my shield.
As with the hens i'll plod along
The edges of the field.
But first I need a schedule,
I'll need paper and coloured pens.
It may take a while to plan it all,
But I don't want to shame those hens.
So if you see a flustered form
Plodding across the green.
Lowered head full of intent
Then you know what you have seen.
Me and the chickens working out
Sophie bribing us with bread.
What have I let myself in for?
Wish I'd stayed in bed!
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