Failure

I tried my best,
Gave it all I got,
But what did I get?
A miss.
A pointless shot.

Days I worked,
Weeks I tried,
Months i studied,
Years I mined...

Now staring at my result- my fail,
And watching the rain drip- like it's laughing at my followed trail.
The words thunder inside my brain,
And soon my eyes sink deeply- entrained.

The thoughts keep coming,
My brain creates them.
And no I won't stop thinking!!
It's what dictates me.

The words seem to find me,
The deadly whisper that reaches me;
"Ahh dear you can lose hope now... Its over, your a failure!"
I only sigh deeply,
And cry; entwined.

In public?
How could I cry?
But my tears fall uncontrollably,
As the whisper in my head laughs cautiously.
"oh don't cry! It's okay... Your life isn't important anyway!"

People stare at my reaction,
How I'm outplayed,
And the chills of horror reach me...
Consume me in every way.
They torture me,
And strangle,
And tangle me,
And mangle me...

No help,
No strength comes to my content...
No reach of a hand,
Not a single band,
Of colour and beauty,
Of light and hope...

Dear god,
Even you have abandoned me,
Please help me,
Please save me,
Please end my suffering...
Even the devil,
I'm calling out to you,
To kill me,
Let me die..
Don't make me survive...

Please someone...
I say,
But nobody lends me a hand in this astray.
So the tears keep dripping,
As if never will they stop,
My heart sinks deeply,
As I drop,
Into a deathly pit,
Of horror and plot.