Behind a smile

Now you may see me laughing and smiling,
now you may think I look happy.
But there's so much more behind a smile,
so much more than you'll ever see.
It took all my strength and courage
just to make it through the day.
Growing weaker, dying inside
yet I told you I was ok.
Struggling to survive after the pain of being left behind.
Everyday was a battle between me
and the madness taking over my mind.
Cut to pieces, hacked to shreds, bruised and badly beated.
But I had will to carry on
even after having been so mistreated.
I stumbled and I fell.
I've been through pure Hell,
and yet I'm still here today.
So many times I've totally lost it,
gone completely insane.
Always battling the darkness,
always battling the pain.
All those lonely nights
were all I wanted to do was cry,
all those lonely nights were all I wanted to do was die.
I'd been suffering for so long,
but I kept my head up and I stayed strong.
My life has been strange and sometimes utterly vile,
so here is the dark secret behind a smile.