The Red Man

@beergrylles

Balls ⚽

King Assad is offering another all inclusive holiday in Syria. All you have to do is sort his balls out for him. He wants to know which is the odd one out. His decision is final.

@bobbilawrence

Robot Boy

Mr. an Mrs. Smith had a wonderful life. They were a normal, happy husband and wife. One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad. Mrs. Smith would would be a mom which would make him the dad.

@waynedoz

Crocodile Under The Table

There's a Crocodile under the table, There’s a Crocodile under my chair; I can feel it scrape next to my slippers... Heaven knows how on Earth it got there.

@missjods

Twisted

One sunny night 2 dead boys started a fight They fired their sords Then drew their pistols. Luckly a deaf police man heard the comotion But acadently drowned them In a dried up ditch.

@OllieBoyne

The Salesman

A confident salesman walks into a house, pours dirt onto the floor, and says to the shocked woman who lives in the house: "if this vacuum cleaner can't clean away this dirt.

@albisher

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies.

@cherrypopicecream

Worms

Nobody likes me.