The Dalek Diaries: 7

Dalek Evolution

(the Dalek Emperor is.. Uh... Standing by a large, ornate dressing screen. There is movement from behind. )

Emperor Dalek: DALEK BRETHREN - HEAR ME!

Stupidly large fleet of daleks: WE OBEY!

Dalek Emperor: TODAY YOU ARE WITNESS TO THE EVOLUTION OF DALEK-KIND. I HAVE CALCULATED MANY POSSIBLE WAYS OF IMPROVING AND EVOLVING DALEK DESIGN;

I GAVE A DA-LEK LEGS. HOWEVER THE DALEK UNIT SPENT 45 EARTH MINUTES TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN JEANS OR LEGGINGS BEFORE GOING INTO BATTLE.

I GAVE A TEST DA-LEK A SECOND PLUN-GER BUT THAT JUST LOOKED EVEN MORE FU-CKING STUPID THAN NORMAL. THIS DALEK UNIT SAID 'WHYYYYY?' AND THEN THREW ITSELF INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF TARTARUS.

NOW MY IMPROVEMENT WILL MAKE DALEKS, THE SUPERIOR BEINGS, SUPERIOR...ER. DALEK GEOFF... REVEAL YOURSELF!

(a normal Dalek emerges wearing an Opuss t-shirt)

Dalek Geoff: I AM SYNCH-RO-NISED DIRECTLY WITH OPUSS. NOW WHEN I EX-TER-MINATE HUMANS YOU CAN CLICK 'LIKE' AND THEN I WILL SAY MANY GLORIOUS WORDS ABOUT THE PUNY HUMAN'S AGONISING DEATH.

Daleks: (clicking 'like' )
CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!