The Dalek Diaries: 4

Daleks Discover Football

Dalek 1: REPORT. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS BAG OF AIR.

Dalek 2: HU-MANS USE THIS BAG OF AIR FOR LEISURE ACTIVITIES. THE BAG OF AIR REQUIRES KICKING AROUND A FIELD. THEY AIM TO DISPOSE OF THE OBJECT RAPIDLY.

Dalek 3: A BAG OF AIR WHICH SHOULD BE KICKED ABOUT A FIELD AND WHICH HUMANS WISH TO DISPOSE OF RAPIDLY? IS THIS A 'POL-IT-ICIAN?'

Dalek 2: NEGATIVE. THIS IS PART OF A HU-MAN GAME.

Dalek 1: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS GAME?

Dalek 2: THE MALES ORIGINALLY USED THE GAME TO IRRITATE FE-MALES AND ESCAPE FROM THE TORTURE RITUAL KNOWN AS 'iRONING.'

Dalek 1: AND THE RULES? RESPOND!

Dalek 2: THESE ARE INVENTED BY AN OVERLORD KNOWN AS 'THE REF.' THE HUMANS MUST DISPOSE OF THE BALL IN THE WASTE CUBICLE AT THE END OF THE FIELD.

Dalek 3: THIS GAME IS RUDIMENTARY. LET US PLAY.

Dalek 2: COME AND MAKE AN ATTEMPT IF YOU BELIEVE YOUR OUTER SHELL IS HARD ENOUGH!

(Zap! Kaboooom! The ball is disintegrated)

Dalek 1: I HAVE TRIUMPHED. I HAVE DISPOSED OF THE BAG OF AIR AS EXPECTED.

Dalek 3: YOU ILLEGITIMATE MALE OFFSPRING. YOU HAVE NOT OBEYED THE RULES. THE GAME IS FORFEIT.

Dalek 1: PRESS YOUR ORAL FLAPS ON MY REAR EXHAUST PIPE!
(Zap! Kabooom! Dalek 1 Exterminates the other Daleks, then wheels about in a circle with his out casing up over his head.)