DOG: why you no txt me today?
I'm busy.
DOG: you on gay opuss app instead of texting dog?
No. I'm working.
DOG: just ran up and down the stairs 19 times without stopping. NEW RECORED
Wow, this is literally the proudest day of my life.
DOG: I know! Success came at a cost though
I bet. You must be exhausted.
DOG: yeah, plus I sick up in your shoes
Brilliant. I fucking hate you
Your feedback helps Danish understand what's working
Just a guy and his dog.
DOG: have you noticed how I don't lift my leg when I wee. Because you fall over DOG: no Yes. I saw you try it once.
DOG: I need a girlfriend You can't have kids. I had you 'done' remember. DOG: WHAT?.
DOG: just done a busy on the kitchen floor WTF. I let you out before I left DOG: yea, I thought you weren't ever ever ever coming home....... so I panicked I have to eat in that room.
I love you my furry friend, a devoted companion you'll always be. You escort me from room to room ever so sweetly. My daily tasks for you hold such fascination.
There is a cat Upon my bed, Three foot four From tail to head. Fluffy tum stuck in the air, There's no more bed space Left to spare.
DOG: stop neglecting me OH MY GOD. I'm NOT neglecting you. DOG: I'll call the RSPB Jesus, you're an idiot. They protect BIRDS. DOG: THEN ILL TELL THEM YOUR AN OSTRICH DOG: I'll ring dogs trust.
DOG: how long til u be home. Told you I'll be in at 7. You ready for walkies!. DOG: YES. CAN WE TAKE THE BALL You want the ball. DOG: YES. Who wants the ball DOG: ME.
DOG: did you call me. I'm busy Just got a text from the neighbour. STOP TWATTING AROUND DOG: I'm NOT. SHES LYING Shall I forward you her text.
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