DOG: I need a girlfriend
You can't have kids. I had you 'done' remember.
DOG: WHAT?!
I read a book that said if you weren't planning on breeding you should get them neutered because in later life they get frustrated. I did it because I love you.
DOG: FUCK YOU HITLER
Your feedback helps Danish understand what's working
Just a guy and his dog.
DOG: have you noticed how I don't lift my leg when I wee. Because you fall over DOG: no Yes. I saw you try it once.
DOG: why you no txt me today. I'm busy. DOG: you on gay opuss app instead of texting dog. No. I'm working. DOG: just ran up and down the stairs 19 times without stopping.
DOG: just done a busy on the kitchen floor WTF. I let you out before I left DOG: yea, I thought you weren't ever ever ever coming home....... so I panicked I have to eat in that room.
I love you my furry friend, a devoted companion you'll always be. You escort me from room to room ever so sweetly. My daily tasks for you hold such fascination.
DOG: the sofa cushions are ganging up on me. No they're not. DOG: Sorry, are you here. Don't patronise me. I know when I'm being attacked. Yeah alright. Calm down.
There is a cat Upon my bed, Three foot four From tail to head. Fluffy tum stuck in the air, There's no more bed space Left to spare.
DOG: do you think I could be a police dog. No. DOG: why not. Don't think you've got the nerve. DOG: WTF. My nerves are STEEL. You jump at the sounds of your own farts.
DOG: stop neglecting me OH MY GOD. I'm NOT neglecting you. DOG: I'll call the RSPB Jesus, you're an idiot. They protect BIRDS. DOG: THEN ILL TELL THEM YOUR AN OSTRICH DOG: I'll ring dogs trust.
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