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Male Pampering

After gardening chores on a hot summers day,
My girlfriend asked me "are you okay?".
"hell no" I said . I'm dirty and sore.
This gardening lark is quite a hard chore.
I'm covered in mud, scrapes and a bruise,
This isn't the weekend that I would choose.
"what you need is a pamper!" my girlfriend declared.
I just stood there, so still, frightened and scared.
"it'll help you relax, soothe those sore feet",
"You'll really enjoy it - Its quite a nice treat".
Marched to the bathroom, a hot bath was run,
With perfumes and oils, and smells by the tonne.
Jumped into the bath, my lower half fried,
The boiling hot water destroyed my fair hide.
"now we shall do something really quite great",
We'll scrub your bad back and exfoliate"
The torture was brutal, skin striped right away,
Such treatment was used by the CIA.
The "pleasure" continued for quite a long time,
I began to wonder just what was my crime.
"isn't it wonderful" with facepack applied.
"not really" I said and just grumbled and sighed.
So what was the point? Was I misunderstood?
I'm still bleeding sore and still covered in mud!

bryanrobertheap

@bryanrobertheap

bryanrobertheap - the online troubadour. Kik: bryanrobertheap

100
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Comments & Feedback (18)

@bryanrobertheap ; haha this is hilarious 😄 you are brave for even allowing yourself to be subjected, my other half complains when I send him to get his hair cut! 😄

Haha! Excellent!!!

Fantastic! I love the rhyming!

@PoppyA @Weirdwolf @Nom had this one in my mind all day. Glad you like it 😄😄

Awesome! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Lol

Brilliantly funny...aren't you lucky she didn't wax you ha ha!:):)

@Nobody thanks! Was laughing when writing it!

@meggie2012 thanks 😊

@misslittleDHP suppose it could have been worse!!!!

@bryanrobertheap and I'm still laughing 😝

Haha this is awesome!! X

Brilliant !!

Haha this is great!

@pigolet @ClearAsChrystal thanks! 😃😃😃

@pigolet thanks for the repost

Lol brilliant 😄

@sjw thank you! 😊😊😊

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