Bus ride

@albisher

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies.

@OllieBoyne

The Salesman

A confident salesman walks into a house, pours dirt onto the floor, and says to the shocked woman who lives in the house: "if this vacuum cleaner can't clean away this dirt.

@bowlch

Gates Of Heaven

Three men walk up to the pearly gates of heaven, St. peter is there to greet them.

@mitchattitude

I Think My Friend Is Dead

Two friends are out hunting in the woods when one of them suddenly falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head.

@Eatonlynch

Things to do

If you get caught masturbating say something friendly to avoid awkwardness, like; "Hey. I was just thinking of you!!" Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, "Help.

@HeatherAnne

THE TRUTH OF SNOW WHITE.

"Lips red as red, Cheeks white as white, An unreal beauty, An aunt with much spite": The truth of Snow White, It wasn't as told, That fairy tale, Is a story told; The truth is this: The girl was...

@jaykhalil

Had To Share It

A lady takes her lover to her house during the day, while her husband is at work and Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet to skip school.

@merlin1038

Pressured Gas

Sitting in a prison, faces dead and bare, Better keep my eyes averted, Better had not stare. But the urge to let one go in here is so very very great.