Mindless Addiction

"Just eat," you beg
Like it's that easy
As if I can take a mouthful
Without feeling queasy

Like an alcoholic to his liquor
Or a smoker to his smokes
I need emptiness in my gut
And the control hunger evokes

I want to feel perfect
And crystal, and pure
I want to be sick
I don't want any cure

I want to stay sharp
My mind icy, alert
Want bones that are showing
And a body that's hurt

I want hair that is brittle
And teeth long decayed
I want small numbers on the scale
Insecurity being weighed

I want to shrink down
Be invisible, unheard
Want to be tiny
Though you think I'm absurd

I want less of me
To be deaf, to be blind
I want to escape
I'm just out of my mind