STOP BARKING IM TRYING TO SLEEP
DOG: I'm doing the twilight bark
Like in 101 Dalmatians? That's a REAL thing?
DOG: duh, yeah
Who are you talking to?
DOG: Ted the Terrier next door
What did he say?
DOG: "YO MAMMA'S SO FAT SHE WEARS A HULA HOOP FOR A COLLAR"
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Just a guy and his dog.
DOG: I'm going to grow a moustache. You kinda already have one. DOG: it's not big enough Ok. How you going to do that then. DOG: DUH you buy me moustache seeds and I plant them under my nose Yep.
DOG: Mr Postman's just made his delivery... Leave him alone DOG: he thinks he's going to get away with it Leave. Him.
DOG: nice chat with the cat from next door I thought you hated cats. DOG: myth. Dogs love cats DOG: cats love mice.
DOG: in human years I would be 47 years old DOG: how old are you. DOG: HELLO. How old are you.
DOG: since you taught me to text human I'll teach you how to speak dog on one condition What's that. DOG: buy me sausages EVERY day for the next 6 weeks DEAL DOG: ok.
WHAT KIND OF PHONE DOES DOG USE. I don't know. It has my teeth marks where I bite and shake it. It says NOKIA on the front. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SOCIAL APPLICATION OR WEBSITE.
Bruno mars: When I'm a billionaire. Girl: Will you buy me some clothes. Bruno mars: Girl your AMAZING, just the way you are. Girl: Do u really mean that. Bruno mars: Darling I'd catch a grenade for...
In a bar, there are three horses. The first one bragged, "I was in a race today, and I was last running.
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