Hell Hath No Fury| Cheese Battle

Don't you remember yesterday's trip
When I gave you all the slip
For a little journey up the Mournes
Like the Sound of Music only in Ireland (Norn)?
I went lair shopping and found a spot
That will trump you nasty lot;
Mourne granite is powerful stuff,
Strong enough to call your bluff.
No cheese can crash the new D-Den
Surrounded by ten thousand Ulster men.
They're hard lads, on both sides
So you'd better run and hide!
No canons filled with Edam and Brie
Shall conquer us, you will see.
And we've recruited mountain goats
As cavalry, that's all folks.
Oh, and you might want to check your beds
Seems like sheets are poison ivy instead.
Scratch all you want boys, it'll just get worse
Better call your funeral Hearse.
On the subject of knickers held up by braces
We've been looking in some costume places;
Seems body suits are the order of the day
Like the Fantastic Four only bedazzled all the way.
You've riled us up, killing Spidey and Thor
And sending my chickens to Bangalore
Or Madagascar or Timbucktoo
Or wherever you've relegated them to,
So watch out for our army lads
They've more muchness than you'll ever have.
All's fair in love and war
And we've got much much more in store,
So buckle up, it's a bumpy ride
You two had better run and hide...