I find myself here again,
in this lonely place.
Wandering around, my head hanging down,
my life looking like a disgrace.

Morose to the point,
that I’m boring myself.
I just want to sleep all day long.

My furrows and frown,
thought they’d be long-gone by now,
but they’re still here, hanging on, and on, and on..........

Everything’s gone bad,
has a taste oh-so sour.
I’ve lost my appetite for life.

Bored of boredom,
fed-up with depression,
all the troubles and the strife.

I look back now
and I wonder how
and when did it all turn to dust?

I try and I try,
but just cannot get by.
Things in my hands are turning to rust.

Opportunity knocks,
that’s what people say.
Well, please someone do tell me if he comes my way,
for I haven’t seen him for 6 years and a day!
I dismay..................

My head in my hands,
the tears all dried up.
I curl into a ball, try to sleep like a pup.

It’s not hard to feel I could sleep all daylong,
it’s the night’s that are hard - wide awake, hanging on.

I am no more than useless,
it’s safe to say.
What good am I to my family today?
Why, no good at all, I hear myself say.

I know it’s no good,
know things have to change.
But I don’t have the power,
I’m just not in range.

So I’ll drink up my coffee,
cover up my sad look,
hide frustration and anger
in a deep little nook.

Don’t want to talk to Doctors,
don’t even want to talk with friends.
What can really be done for me, in the end?

I’m a nothing, a no-one,
with nothing to do.
I know nothing, except,
I know I love you.

But even there I am failing,
my beautiful boys.
I am grumpy and mean,
I am sad and annoyed.

So the tears they are falling,
my bed is still calling,
my thoughts are appalling..............

Want to punch myself square,
straight in my face.
Wake myself up,
but I’m not in this place.

There’s no sense in awakening a woman
when her mind has left her without a trace.

Living out the days
like they’re nothing at all.
Time to be endured,
I lay where I fall.

This place holds nothing for me at all...........

Yet somewhere inside,
somewhere deep in a hole,
there’s an ember of hope,
a glowing coal.

Maybe one day again
I can set it alight?
See the fire begin
and my wings may take flight?

It’s a desperate feeling,
the loneliest place.
And I wish I had never
joined the Human Race.

But I’m here and for my sins,
I cannot just give up.
My Will is too strong,
Though half empty is my cup!

Something within me
just will not allow,
for this life to beat me down!

So for now,
I will go cover up that sad look,
hide frustration and anger in a deep little nook.

I will drag myself up
to stand on both feet.
Can’t avoid the kitchen,
so I guess I just have to

get

used

to

the

heat!

Feeling really pretty bl*dy crp today, so apologies for the depressive / moaning / fed-up mood of my post.
I did try to make the title a little more uplifting!!!

Bllcks to it, I’m bored of this feeling. I’m off out to the post box with the boys and then off for a little walk. If nothing else, a bit of fresh air should at least be good for us, and give my brain a break x