I don't know how it happens. I can be so happy one second. I've got the bottle in my hand, and I know not one thing is stopping. None of you will miss me. The voices get louder at night, to the point where I can't think straight, I can't hear anything else. I am not ok.

I walk around on eggshells. I want to be ok. I want to let my secrets free. Everyone looks at me like I have a disease already. I can't be any freakier than I am.

I cannot describe how I feel. I cannot. I want to believe that people like me, they want to talk to me. But, I can't believe that. I just need to disappear. Never come back. I can't put coherent thoughts together, I've already taken too much. Goodnight Opuss. All my love.