tommywalsh
You call that art? I call it a fart, That sprayed out of control, Its just a few spots, But its worth a whole lot, Just wipe it off with some roll.
The whip may be in your hand, Whilst there is blood dripping from mine, But the smile is upon my face, And the frown is upon thine, You take pain and store inside, Whilst I let mine go free, Your soul crushed by hate and pain, Mine overflo…
On a hill above a raging storm, True hearts show their courage, Battling wind and gale and light, They live today fearing death tomorrow, And do not fear death tomorrow for they have lived today.
To be he who I am there are obstacles I must first overcome, Yet to stand and face those challenges, I have already become he who I am destined to be.
When I opened my eyes I was greeted by a loud screeching noise. My alarm clock. I leant over and smashed the button. The bloody thing never went off until a certain amount of force was applied. Uggh, thats too technical, lets just say it on…
It came from the water, a white stallion. Born of the surf it moved as nothing I had seen before. And it was beautiful. Its long legs thundering on the sand as it rode towards me. As it drew near I fell to my knees, knowing I was unworthy …
To create a portrait full of light, In the darkest hours of the night, One must cleanse themselves of blood and sin, And let only love and purity in, And if at first you dont succeed, Then try again until you bleed, Release yourself from yo…
Under a mountain not so far away, There lives a little dragon with a bale of hay, He lives with his mother and his father too, But its become a bit of a problem when they go to the loo, For squeeze and scowl and push all they like, There is…
Dear Future, I am writing to you in the hope that I can save you from that which destroyed us. In the hope that we have risen from the ashes as a better people. I hope you are not recieving this too late and realising, just as we did, that…
I can feel the hunger, Growling in my belly, I need to make a sandwich, Peanut butter and jelly? No way, no way, Definitely not, I need something fulfilling, Battered fish or what? 8 days of nothing, and this is t…
The fumes rise, The inferno burns on, The ice is melting, Soon it will be gone, Islands will drown, As sea levels rise, Lives will be lost, Hurricanes cover the skies, Fires burning, Fishing in barren seas, The summer is unbearable, Winte…
'Je n'ai pas fait mes deviors!' You naughty little boy! 'Lo siento la profesora' Detention, Little Leroy! 'No, madame si vous plait!' Yes, you deserve it! 'Comí mucho las verduras!' Okay, now Leroy sit! Translation: 'I haven't done my ho…
Of Monsters And Men are my new favourite band after hearing their album 'My Head Is An Animal'. They are like Ben Howard, Mumford and Sons and Amy Macdonald all combined. And if you havent heard any of their songs either, you really should …
Hi, just gonna apologise because my friend went on my ipod without me realising and thought it would be funny to wind people up. So sorry to @Davedave16 @Coollikecat and anybody else who recieved comments from me today :/
The Malasian Exploding Ant can literally blow itself up. If it senses its about to lose a fight it explodes, spraying its stomach acids at its opponent. Talk about having the last laugh.
Clouds cover the skies, shedding milky light across the moors. The world shines in golds, reds and yellows, and a light fog hovers just above the springy ground of heather and other tough highland plants. Wrapped up, comfortable and warm, I…
There is a fire burning in my soul, The smoke threatens to consume me. It burns in a passionate rage, Against all that is evil and unholy. The death of the young snd innocent, Is the fuel that feeds the fire. The destruction of that whi…
High in the sky, Sits a man all alone, Lonely with no one to love, He watches from there, Longingly searching, Flying on the wings of a dove, He would cherish her, Provide all for her, If only she could be found, But he will never stop s…
I have many inspirations. I know I was supposed to pick one but, I couldnt choose between the three. Sorry :/ Rachel Carson- May 27, 1907- April 14, 1964 Author, Scientist, Conservationist, Naturalist Rachel Carson published a book, Si…
Thats it then, Its over, Whatever it is we tried, We failed, You know from giving up, There is no return, We leave now, We never come back, You want that? 'Cause I don't, So you go on without me, I'll stay here, I will never leave, Will …
I lost The Game. And now you have too. Sorry.
Bibitty bobitty boo, We're going to the zoo, We're going to see the animals, That want to make friends with you! Look, theres a monkey, All cheeky and silly, And over there some goats, Nana, Kid and Billy! Bibitty bobitty boo, We're here …
You dont need to rake in the likes, To go up in opuss, So dont go crazy and freak out Trying to stay focused, Just try to take part in events, And conversations aswell, Because all you need to do on here, Is talk to people and tell, Them …
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/m/takeaction/724/210/624/ "In 'The Cove' a team of activists and filmmakers infiltrate a heavily-guarded cove in Taiji, Japan. In this remote village they witness and document activities deliberately being hi…
The other day I saw a duck, It was in a pond and it was stuck, Ice had frozen the surface solid, Its legs were trapped, and so I hurried, Over to see how I could help, And it was at that moment that I smelt, Something funny and turned aroun…
A mosquito has bitten me, Its really starting to itch, And I know I shouldnt scratch it, But I really cant resist! That stupid little insect, Feasting on my blood, But I bet he is their strongest, Their little mosquito stud! Boasting his …
Live today knowing you will die tomorrow, And die tomorrow knowing that you lived today. - Unkown
I am a secret agent, The best at what I do, So dont even try to break the law, Incase I target you! I am a football player, I am extremely rich, I run around screaming loud, At home and on the pitch! I am a famous popstar, The best singer…
We gather tonight, you and me, In Earths darkest hour, All helpless, kneeling before, A terrible unyeilding power, We grasp at straws, with both hands, But our grip on life is weak, We turn around, and flee the scene, It is Eden that we se…
P hotos trapped under lock and key, H appily waiting to be free, O nly time can tell when that will be, T hey shall stay for now, my friends and me, O n holiday I bought it, by the sea, F rance was the country with mes amis, R emembering th…
@Seamonster I am unable to go onto my feed at the moment. Its just giving me the background and none of the Opusses. Ive tried uninstall/reinstalling but is there anything else??
Ive captured your greatest memory, I hold it to ransom on your stand, A memory of good times, But can you guess what I am? The answer will be revealed tommorow :) Guess in the comments :)
Look around you, See the destruction, Hear the screams, Feel the revultion, Cast the killing blow, Watch it die, Savour the moment, Hold your head up high, We're burning down the world, In the name of progress, The Planet is dying, And ev…
BANANA WEDGIE On Saturday at precisely 9:05pm an elderly man who goes by the name of Jimmy Electron was the victim of a terrible crime. A banana peel, strategically placed to cause unwary pedestrians to slip and fall flat on their faces…
And so the Count, Switched to his winged form, Escaping with his victim
Waiting all day to embrace you, I open my arms out wide, If scared I shall apease you, And in me you may hide, On rainy days Im your company, And when cold I keep you warm, After long days I am a luxury, I belong to you, I am your own, I …
I just read about how poachers snares had killed two Mountain Gorillas in Rwanda this year. And how people have been working tirelessly toremove the snares in the area when they caught some remarkable footage. Ill let the report from one of…
Global Warming. Real or Fake?
. T H T H E G A M E S O M R X F O R M E P E O N W S O A …
Love is not about how perfect you are. I mean, you arent perfect. In fact, you are no where near perfect, ha ha not even close! It looks like you just missed the Perfect Train choo choo! Hahaha... But I do love you! I love you soo much! Uh…
?sdrawkcab daer uoy naC
My evil scheme was finally put into place today and I now await the results. Everyone Ive asked agrees that this makes me the most terrible fiend to have made the journey from Zarktog to planet Earth. In Xaviors face! It is quite simply t…
You see it. You can picture it right now. It pains you to see it. Yet you see it and do nothing. You watch it. Never lifting a finger. It hurts. You make your excuses. Its not your problem. Everyone has difficulty. Soneone else can do it. I…
Tommy means 'Twin', Yet I am no twin, Twin is a thing, That Ive never been, I have a sister, But shes younger than me, So that doesnt count as a twin, you see, So if you think, That Tommy's a twin, Write it on paper, Then put it in the bin,…
Friendship is like peeing yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings. -Unknown
Long ago, the people of the Brittish Isles believed that the universe was created by a Giant Wolf. Its massive pawprints filled to make the oceans and the gaps between the toes became the land. Then one day the Wolf found a hand sticking ou…
Look at that Leopard, Look at the pain in its eyes, Look at it silently begging your help, Please, Set It Free, Look at that Leopard, Look at its tatty, overwashed fur, Look at the deep cuts on its side, Please, Set It Free, Look at that …
Awesome Opening Ceremony :)
Colder and colder, my heart turns to ice, I transform from the old me, The me that was nice, Now my plans for world domination, Have been ruined by the people from a once friendly nation, My secret headquarter would have been super cool, B…
The death of me is the death of you, To kill me, to kill your innocence too, But that has long since flown away, Leaving a once divine heart to rot and decay, But fear not now, for I am here, I shall protect and watch over you my dear, But …
Under the blackest night do the brightest lights show, And that which brought light in the day has fallen silent, But these lights of purity of mind and heart, Shall always be there, through both day and dark..
I hear whispers of a great power, It returns to the land it has forsaken, So powerful even Fear shall cower, When Love returns to these lands.
There once was a great big orangutan, Who was the lead guitarist in a band, They toured across the world in a massive bus, Everywhere their fans made quite a fuss, From the FanZebra in South Africa, To the GothGulls in LA, This Punk Rocking…
I remember a time when I was free. I had a family, kids, the whole lot. I had friends too, but thats all gone now. In the blink of an eye it all ended. For sport. A single bullet. A single gun. 100 meters away. I had no chance. That life wa…
Im going caving today, Going deep down underground, Im gonna make it all the way, And take a look around, Im gonna wade through the rivers, The snake round down below, Delving into rock fissures, Its the activity that I chose, I saw a per…
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It seems to me, That many of you, Are writing some good stuff, So I shall go now, And maybe Ill return, After I vanish in a puff.. .. of smoke.
I have a case of writers block, All of my ideas could fit into a small sock, My ideas are smaller than a small rock, This is really bad, so I think Ill stop. Hey look, a camel, Huh...
Away with the wind I soar, My life in my death has been glorified, Im thirsty for life I want more, But Ill see you on the morningside, For you must break through the night, You must put up a fight, Because they all stand against you, You…
I was having a very pleasant time, When something strange came from the sky, Which was ,in fact, a butterfly, It came with the wind blowing left and right, It really was quite a beautiful sight, With its flapping wings colourful and bright…
The power of imagination makes us infinite. -John Muir
On a winters day not so long ago, Before the sun had risen, When the weather was cold, A man arrived, his eyes full of malice, Came into town, Declared it his palace, Called all to join him in his unholy war, To kill the gods And bring t…
Opuss is shrinking. Well thats what it seems to me, The posts are being liked less, Less users, you see, For when we create poems, And stories and rhymes, We sometimes, maybe, feel, That we are wasting our time, For once it was true, That…
School tommorow, As per normal, Diary signed, As per normal, Homework done, As per normal, Bag packed, As per normal, Alarm set, As per normal, Early night, As per normal. I wish that, I could change, That routine completely Stay up late…
Take a deep breath, Its over now, For you anyway, Others will fight on, But you did your part, You wont be remembered, Not as an individual, You will be known as Soldier, A man who gave it all for the cause, You did much more than just die,…
On this bright and sunny day, There are a few things I have to say, One is Have a merry old time, Weaving words into amazing rhymes, Two is Live each day as your last, And look to the future and not the past, Three is the most important …
When life gives you lemons, thank it for the free food. - Tommy Walsh
1) Htiler 2) Nggeri 3) Wte Dearms 4) Pneis 5) Buttsxe 1) Lither 2) Ginger 3) Dew Streams 4) Spine 5) Subtext (They were quite obvious really) ( Thanks to Cyanide and Happiness for most of these)
Contains a single swear word, so do not read if you cannot take it :P Go on, Hit me, Kick me, I can take it, Take my stuff, Rip it up, I can take it, Gang up on me, Give me no escape, I can take it, Insult me, Spread rumours, I can take it…
A journey we shall never know, A journey only the wind undergoes, Cold and biting, flying free, Just a dream, for you and me, To look down upon the ground below, All the secrets of the land unfold, Sharing the skies with magnificent birds, …
Im a little fokscub, Ain't I the tuffest fing you've ever seen? My orangefur and scary woar, Makes you's people scweam, I growls and bares my teefs, It makes you run away, 'Cause Im so mean and cleva, You dont wanna get in my way, My momm…
The world is perfect. Everything is great. And you are happy. Love. Peace. Friendship. Fun. Then the storm hits. Everything turns upside down. They betray you. The world burns. Flames of fear and hatred spread. Friend turns on friend. Bro…
. <O (\_(\)_/) \ • • /------------ 0 \__/ \____/ \ ____ / \ | / \\ | \ | | || | …
Tick tock, goes the clock, Signalling another electric shock, Because the insomniac must stay awake, She has a world record she must break, She hasnt slept for several days, Its another of her crazy craze, She gets them every now and agin, …
Pusscat, Pusscat, Sitting on me lap, You were soaking wet when you came in the cat flap, Now youve gone and got all the water on me, And youve got a lot of fur in me drink of tea, Tell your little kitten friends you're grounded for a month…
, ______________ ) ___ ( / |\/ • \ \ ( |/\___/ ) \____________/ I went to the pet shop today, And bought a fish named Bill, …
: '\___/ __/ \__ \___/ / \ ____ ____ / / _ \\// _ \\ YOU / / / \\// \\ SUCK | | / | | …
May not post for a while now, because I will be on holiday and I dont know if I will get Wi-Fi there.
' ' / \ /___\ ___|_____ ~~~~/\~~~~~\______/~~ |\__/ \____ | __\/__/// •_\ |/ Can you see that shark, Swimming up to me? I think he may be hungry…
There cant be a great army without a great general, and there cant be a great general without a great army. -Michael Flatley
If you follow whats in your heart, and really go for it, nothing can stand in your way. -Michael Flatley
I dont get why so many people dislike the Queen on here. She has done loads for everyone in the Commonwealth
Before I die, I have a list of things I want to do, I hope you will join in with me and make a list too! To see the grazing monkeys in Ethiopia, And visit the Amazon Rainforest would be utopia, To swim with sharks in a protective cage, And…
You stood tall and mighty, 'Till they burned you down, But out of the ashes, Rose a Pheonix, Stronger than before, Now they kneel at your feet, And beg forgiveness, Yet nothing can undo, The pain they caused, Turning the other cheek may be …
You stand tall and proud, Do you know what you're fighting for? You fight alone.
Oh how I wish I were a kangaroo, Roaming free not in a zoo, Bouncing ever high and high, Until my head hits the sky, And when my feet touch the ground, I will land softly without a sound, Sheltering from the feiry sun, Under a tree at the r…
Mr Meerkat was off to work, When he saw his old friend Ms Stork, He saw her purse fall from her pocket, So he picked it up, it was pink and spotted, He caught up with her and said, "Hello!" And she replied, "Can it be so!" "Why sure it can …
There once was a Leopard who could ride a Horse, He was a masterful jockey and won every course, He would take home his trophies and put them on a shelf, That way everyone could see ( he didnt keep it to himself) He bragged about his triu…
Does anybody know how to get off a frozen screen on the safari app? I tried the debug thing but it says there is no bug :( now i cant use the internet on my ipod
I dont drink these days, Im allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr
"- Hey, where do you live? - With my brother. - Where does he live? - With me. - Where do you both live? - Together. - I hate you."
The Coldest February in 100 Years The Warmest March in 100 Years The Wettest April in 100 Years We've really screwed things up.
"I know Im not perfect, but Im so close it scares me" - Fridge Magnet
Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. - Sid Waddel
On this very merry day, With the sun shining so bright, Ive something I must tell you About strange occurances at night It seems that each and every night, Whilst I am fast asleep, Some little spritely fairies, Come and steal things for th…
7+ Sorry, but truths come out that you dont wanna know! Dream crushing and all that. Remember the days, We used to play together, We had so much fun, Best friends forever, Then one winters day, You suddenly disapeared, I was grown up now,…
Son: (Looking In Mirror) Damn, I am so sexy! Dad: What are you doing? Son: Dad, how does it feel to be the dad of someone so sexy? Dad: I dunno, you'll have to go ask your Grandad
Are there any photographers on here that could recomend a good DSLR for wildlife photography, I have around £300 to spend, for the body and the lense together. At the moment i am thinking of a Canon EOS, any ideas??
THE BEAUTY WITHIN Once, an eldest brother went to the well to fetch some water. But when he got there he found a hag preventing him from reaching the water. "You may collect water from the well if you give me a kiss" she said. The brother …
"David recieved a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word. David tried hard to change the birds attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playi…
Up above the clouds, On another world, A bluey green martian, Did a forward roll For he was a space gymnast, And very talented too, The Milky Way Champion, Im telling you, its true! But then one day he met his match, In a flea, no more or…
Hidsdrujvdrghc. The "dsdrujvdrghc" is silent.
What is the hall of fame?? What are featured authors and the Top author???
You may be small. You may be insignificant in the Universe. But you can change a persons life, and there is no denying the great feeling you get when you do that.
“I used to know this boy. at one point i was pretty good friends with him, we drifted apart through the high school years. anyway, that doesn’t matter. he spent about, what, 12 years of his life in some form of education. anyway. it was at …
I suggest that if you have not already seen Al Gores film on global warming 'An Inconvenient Truth' you find time to watch it soon. It is a very powerful, easy to understand film with much evidence to back itself up.
PLEASE READ, VERY IMPORTANT LEWE means LIFE THE CHIMPANZEE OF LEWE The Chimpanzee of Lewe was a very social chimp, with many friends, a devoted mother, a strong father. She loved to play. Shew would play all sorts of games, climbing, cha…
All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it …
The sun is up, Its a beautiful morning, So I get up, Stretching and yawning. As I get dressed, I can certainly say, I got this feeling, Today will be my day.
ßecause I care.
These be calm waters we sail upon, All that is left of happy days gone by, The rapids will come but for now relax, Enjoy the peace and watch the fish, Make the most of it, For days like these are few, Days like these were made for one per…
On a green hill Under an Oak tree A little bluebird Sang a song for me It sang of happy days With food for everyone And all had time To play out in the sun But then the dark days came With precious little light And very few people Put up …
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first -Anonymous
Theyre watching us, So lets put on a show, Let it all out, Show them what we're about, Theres no limit on how far, We can go to achieve this, We are reaching the roof, And bringing down their ceiling, Causing chaos with every step, Wreaking…
The Chimpanzee of Lewe was a very social chimp, with many friends, a devoted mother, a strong father. She loved to play. Shew would play all sorts of games, climbing, chasing, wrestling, anything. As long as it was fun. She had a friend cal…
To be born free, Thats what I want to be, To die happy, And leave this world in peace.
She is burnt, She cries, She is whipped, She dies, The show is over, The curtains are drawn, We applaud.
Soon we must all make the decision between what is right and what is easy -Albus Dumbledore
This has shown that although we come from different places, speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one - Albus Dumbledore
Tick Tock Goes that clock Counting down the hours "My plan is this" Says Professor Chris Opening like a flower. Stretch *Snap* Goes that rope Tieing my hands together Now I get up His gun I pluck And I shot him with a suppressor.
In a little meadow, By a little stream, A little brown mouse, Had a little dream. Of a big meadow, Of a big stream, Practicly a river, Beautifly serene. A dream of a better place, Than where he is, But really, he doesnt want, For that lan…
Look at the sun, the stars the moon, Shining down upon the great baboon, He yells and screams and shows his red bum, What a terrible embarresment for his mum, She tries to hide her face in shame, But the others laugh at her all the same, So…
A childs voice however honest and true, is meaningless to those who dont want to listen - Albus Dumbledore
All happy and merry and bright was he, That big old man with his bumblebee, He went to the beach to see the sea, The man and the bumblebee They laughed and played and had so much fun, Splashing and dashing under the sun, And they invited e…
It is not our abilities that make who we are, it is our choices - Albus Dumbledore
Two men were driving two cars and they crashed in the middle of the road. The police asked one of them, "Whos fault is the crash?" The man replied, "I dont know, I wasnt watching the road"
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - Albus Dumbledore
Please let me know what you think in the comments :) >>>>> As I thought back I realised I had never been in more trouble in my life. The night sky was black with neither star nor moonlight to brighten up my path. It weighed heavily in my j…
Ive scrapped my last attempt at a story because of lack of interest and am taking a different route, I need a name for a criminal, a low life. Any ideas...?
Carbuncle green eye, A beautiful dancing song, Glorified in death
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."
"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."
"Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it."
"Boy, my Nigerian girlfriend sure needs a lot of money wired to her. I really love Sxbgfsnj Fuhbdexgb though."
Talent- When a person can think of a quote without copying anyone else. -This guy on the internet
True strength, is carrying on when the world is against you
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
"If you “Friend Request” me on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you are a transformer."
Once you have done something wrong, the next logical step is to find someone to blame and dump the evidence on them.
Hate is like peeing in the wind, it always comes back, and doesnt smell very nice. -Tommy Walsh
"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."
Cold down the back of my neck, Whispering dark, terrible things, I could tell from that awful encounter, That the Devil doesn't brush his teeth... -Tommy Walsh
Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up, and carry on
"You know that whole walking-away-in-slow-motion thing that heroes do in movies when something is exploding? I tried that today. Really wish I hadn’t. Really, really wish I hadn’t."
Some of you may have noticed how my "When in doubt, mumble" opuss keeps being posted. I am not doing this on purpose, it is doing it while I am reading your posts. Does anyone know how i can get it to stop???
Next time, you look at an item of clothing and say its ugly think of the models, who starved themselves so that it could make it to the store.
"When in doubt, mumble."
"I never said it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
I just saw a post that was posted 23 minutes ago, but the single comment was posted an hour ago. How does that work?
"Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?"
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common; they should both be changed regularly, for the same reason"
Hey, im writing a book, in celtic times and i cant find a good name for my main character. Can you think of a good strong celtic name? male btw
If I were a lawyer I would never be able to defend a person I know is guilty. I would never be able to look into the eyes of a person who has lost a loved one and know that I was the one who denied that person justice.
I keep accidently liking things while im scrolling! its really annoying
Thats what you do in a herd. You look out for eachother. - Manny, Ice Age
You will find more fruit, if you dare to climb to the top of the tree. - Tommy Walsh
Long ago, the people of the Brittish Isles believed that the universe was created by a Giant Wolf. Its massive pawprints filled to make the oceans and the gaps between the toes became the land. Then one day the Wolf found a hand sticking ou…
It flew; Its destructive path, To the Creator. It saw; Its eyes burning, That we shouldnt see. It died; A bloodcurdling scream, A death we should not die. And the damned soul is finally at peace.
Was just having a feirce political debate and would like your opinion on the question. What is the coolest smiley?
Checking everywhere in an arcade to try and find some change
If one person has an imaginary friend they're crazy. But if lots of people have imaginary friends it's religion
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who cant.
Best Friends are the ones who speak well of you behind your back
According to Illinois state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American."
"The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.
Despite the many rat infested slums in New York City, only 311 people are bitten by rats in an average year. But 1,519 residents are bitten annually by other New Yorkers
In 1386 a pig was sentenced to death by hanging. Its crime? Murder.
In 1987 American Airlines saved $40,000 by removing a single olive from each salad served in First Class
Every US President has worn glasses, some just didnt want to be seen with them in public
We are all unique. Yet we are all a part of something bigger
How long is a piece of string?
When you say a word so many times it sounds funny :)
When you are sat down and the remote is just out of reach, so you have to watch whatever is on at the time
Strangers think Im quiet, Friends think Im loud, But best friends think Im crazy!
Everything is so much funnier when you are not afraid to laugh.
Its funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious.
If it looks like a duck, Talks like a duck, Walks like a duck, Then its probably a dragon impersonating a duck
Dont you find it annoying it when you tell a joke and someone takes its seriously and seizes the moment to pounce on you and make ypu look like a fool :/
Every now and then, ,when I know Im alone, I whisper, "I know you're watching" If there is nobody there then nobody knows I was whispering to myself But if not I just freaked out a secret organisation
Help! For English I have to read a book written before 1900, anyone know a good book????
I just cannot stand intolerant people
Im not younger. Im newer.
You must not be so caught up in dreams, you forget to live - Albus Dumbledore
Just gonna stand there and watch me roar... But thats alright because I am a dinosaur
Feeling like a rebel when you take flavoured water into class :)
Everything is so much funnier, when you're not allowed to laugh
The only way to stop me is to kill me. Else I will just keep going.
Inside whom does the Devil dwell? His evil corrupting the soul, His malevolent hand reaching forth, From the bounds of Hell. And who among us can withstand, His dark and terrible power? For few exist with hearts of gold, And complete puri…
They say the only way to solve a problem is to make the person see reason, and if talking doesn't work, it leaves you with but one option.
There once was a girl called Sue, Whos brother scared her with a "Boo!", She kicked him in the balls, His screams echoed round the halls, Be careful in case she gets you!
It is the man who can adapt that survives
The reason I have a night light is not because I'm scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of me and i don't like to be mean. -Tommy Walsh
Its funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious.
I hate when I want to buy something online and the postage costs more than the actual item
I dream of a day when my child will ask, " What was war?" - Anonymous
The old start wars, but the young fight and die in them
Being kind doesnt make you soft, it makes you a good person
Laughter is the best medicine
People tend to remember what they want to forget, and forget what they want to remember
Sorry I was offline back then, some kittens chewed through my connection wires :P
Most animals start life with three basic fears, loud noises, falling and of their predator. We do not fear anything else in the natural world as we have no need to.
It is not death that people are afraid of, but what comes next
The world is changing and its up to you as to how it changes and as to whether you are part of it
If you don't push yourself, you will never discover your true potential
Look at that Leopard, Look at the pain in its eyes, Look at its tatty, overwashed fur, Please, set it free. Look at that Leopard, Look at the scabs on its paws, Hear its cries, Please, set it free. - Tommy Walsh I wrote this poem several …
A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. - Mahatma Gandhi
Football is not a matter of life and death. It is far more important than that. - Bill Shankly
Salesman- How many times have you opened your morning newspaper and had the rubber band hit you in the face? Marge Simpson- Never, but now its my main concern!
A walk in the rain always stregthens your resolve
Im not homaphobic, just like Im not scared of spiders. But if I find one in my bath I will scream. - Jack Whitehall
Coiled up; His golden green scales, Crested head held aloft, Housing carbuncle eyes Glittering with malace, His terrible intentions unclear... -Tommy Walsh I wrote this poem when studying His Dark Materials and were looking at Paradise Lo…
The time will come when you will try to butter bread with a spoon, thats when you'll know you have finally lost it
Finis Opus Coronat- What you put in, you get out
Yes I heard you, Im just ignoring you
I stared into her warm brown eyes, longing for that which seperated us to be removed. I placed my hand upon the glass and she mimicked my movement. I smiled. Reluctantly I walked away, and as I did I realised how little difference there is,…
I smile because I have no idea whats going on :)
Learning languages is hard, I would wish that everyone spoke the same language, but with my luck the universal language wouldn't be English :/
Broke Guy- Hey, do you know how I can get money fast? Cause I'm broke? Other Guy- Sure, but you gotta pay me for the information.
It is not the strongest man who wins the fight, nor the smartest, but the most determined. - Tommy Walsh
I wish I could fall asleep like a cat :(
Sometimes a little bit of light makes the dark seem darker, but at least you can see. -Tommy Walsh
Is anything real, or you actually sat in a mental hospital right now, tapping on your hand?
Thankyou to my followers :)
A man walked out his front door to find 6 men beating up his mother-in-law. His neighbour having seen from the window rushed out. "Aren't you going to help?!" The neighbour asked incrediously "No," The man replied, "6 should be enough." -…
Girls have an unfair advantage over men. If they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner
When you don't hear what was said but laugh along with everyone else :)
The Last Lions is a really good documentary film :) Jeremy Irons narrates, Its really moving
Life is like a yo-yo, it has its ups and downs, but with a good yo-yoer it will always finish at the highest point it can be. -Tommy Walsh
Me- Right, you are the leader of the the entire Russian army and you are surrounded. What do you do? Sister- *Raises mobile to her ear* Hello Police...
John and Kim sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, First comes love then comes marriage, Then comes an abrupt tragic miscarriage, John leaves Kim and takes the tree, D-I-V-O-R-C-E - Cyanide and Happiness
She sells seashells on the seashore, Seashores have self sustaing supplies of seashells, Selling seashells on the seashore is a sh*tty sales strategy - Cyanide and Happiness
To make one of my cats purr you need to spend hours gaining her trust, playing and getting scratched in the process, but after that she will stick to you like a shadow purring constantly. That makes it all worth while.
Just heard a police siren go on and the car arrive at my house, i heard the doorbell go and was about to make my get away, when i realised the police were on the TV.
Keep Calm and Hakuna Matata :)
You will find more fruit if you dare to climb to the top of the tree - Tommy Walsh
Animal Teams (That I know of)- 10-Harris Hawks- They work together to flush out there prey to where a final hawk will kill it 9. Elephants- They keep to the Matriarch who has memorised the routes to the water holes the herd will need 7. …
The Question is not What you did, but Why you did it. - Tommy Walsh
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you gonna get. - Forest Gump
Paradox- The next sentence is true. The last sentence is false.
Its annoying that the cat who takes up the most room is the one that sleeps on my bed the most. :/
When the girl, who spent 3 hours doing her hair and make up, stood next to the girl who smiled. There was no doubt who looked better. -Tommy Walsh
Now a days its considered rude not to put smiley face in your online messages :)
Animal Armour ( That I Know Of): 10. Skunk- Sprays a foul smelling liqiud into the face of its attacker 9.Scorpion- Hard exoskeleton and deadly sting 8.Potato Beetle-Covers itself in its own poo. 7.Porcupine- Extremely sharp spines tha…
Sometimes... when you are sad... no one sees your tears Sometimes... when you are worried... no one sees your pain Sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile But fart just once...
No matter who you are or where you come from, you cannot deny that penguins have the best walk ever :D
Somepeople just don't need company all the time and are happy on there own, this doesnt mean they are a loner or have no friends, it just means they enjoy their own company -Tommy Walsh
Please read my article The Plight Of The Wolf. If you read and comment i will follow you :P
Teacher- Why are you talking while I'm teaching?! Student- Why are you teaching while I'm talking?
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Unknown
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you ;)
We are best friends, always remember that I will pick you up, after I have finished laughing :P
I cant clean my room because i get distracted by all the cool stuff I find
A pair is supposed to be two things right? So why do we say A Pair Of Trousers?
Dear Maths I am tired of finding your 'x'. Just accept she has left you and MOVE ON
Just keep swimming -Dory
If you dont know where you are going you cant get lost
Postman - " A package for Josh Nichols" Josh- " Thanks, have a nice day" Postman- " Dont tell me what to do"
Spring is my favourite season, its joint first with Summer, Autumn and Winter
Are you willing to fight for your beliefs?
Long ago, the people of the Brittish Isles believed that the universe was created by a Giant Wolf. Its massive pawprints filled to make the oceans and the gaps between the toes became the land. Then one day the Wolf found a hand sticking ou…
Lethal Animals ( to other animals): 10. Honey Badger- For fearlessness, its the size of an average badger and has been seen chasing lions from their food! 9.Green Anaconda- For its superstrong muscles and awesome jaw 8. Buffalo- For its…
The reason I have a night light is not because I'm scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of me and i don't like to be mean. -Tommy Walsh
Did you know that beavers invented the refridgerator?
Friendship is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss - Douglas Adams
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be remembered as a person who sat and watched while the world died. -Tommy Walsh
The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
It is not the strongest man who wins the fight, nor the smartest, but the most determined.
Dear Mr Teacher, I am no longer taking maths anymore because I am allergic to it. The End. Anonymous
Hakuna Matata - Wise Baboon (Lion King)
Can you jump 20x your height? A springtail can. You got nothing on that insect.
It is not the law that stops most people killing and stealing, it is that we believe its simply wrong to do those things. We are golden!
'I have a great knock knock joke but you need to start it. ;)' 'Okay... Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' '....What the...huh?'
Paddy and Gunther were walking back from work one day when Gunther found a mirror on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it, frustrated, he turned to Paddy and said, "Do you know who this is? Its at the tip of my tongue but I just cant…
Paddy and Gunther were working in there office when Gunther found a pen. He asked Paddy, "Do you know whos pen this is?" Paddy took it, got a piece of paper and wrote a few things, suddenly he sat up, a triumphant look on his face and said…
Some Swedish couple tried to call their son 'Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116' Which is apparently pronounced Albin, but the name was illegalised
'I had a dream about you last night' "Really!" 'Yeah you died'
Police Officer- So how high are you? Person- No Officer it's, hi how are you?
When nothing goes right, go left.
You mean to tell me that spoons don't actually make aeroplane noises!?
Wait a second, he said to give up trying for stuff I'm never gonna get, so maybe he was saying I should start my own club instead! - Sue Heck
Good Morning, I see the assassins have failed :)
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then its probably a dragon impersanating a duck.
Some people are afraid of heights, not me, I'm afraid of widths - Anonymous
My teacher actually said this, "Alright, can everybody just line up alphabetically according to their height"
I dream of a better tomorrow. A tomorrow when a chicken can cross the road without having its intentions questioned!
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first <3
Let's eat grandma! Let's eat, grandma! Punctuation saves lives. - Unkown
You know, if you say Jesus backwards, it sounds like sausage XD
Sometimes, when you are happy, no one can see you smile. When you are worried, no one can see your pain. But fart just one time...
A little bit of light makes the dark seem darker, but at least you can see.
"They say only a hero can save us, I'm not gonna stand here and wait." Chad Kroeger