DOG: think the sofa cushions are planning another ambush
Those comfy BASTARDS
DOG: backfired though, I captured the leader and water boarded him for intel on their next attack
Water boarded?
DOG: yeah. He got stuck down the toilet. Think he's dead
FFS. I hate your stupid face.
Your feedback helps Danish understand what's working
Just a guy and his dog.
DOG: AM I GAY. I don't know. Are you attracted to man dogs.
DOG: LAMP IN THE LIVING ROOM FELL OVER. Ok. DOG: FREAKED ME OUT. Take a deep breath. DOG: NOW I HAVE TO FIGHT IT. NO YOU DON'T. DOG: I DO, MATTER OF HONOUR N STUFF.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
DOG: who are those people in our house. Guests DOG: why. Just having a wee party DOG: are you going to introduce me. No. DOG: not to ALL of them, just the girl in the blue jeans. No.
DOG: did you call me. I'm busy Just got a text from the neighbour. STOP TWATTING AROUND DOG: I'm NOT. SHES LYING Shall I forward you her text.
DOG: tip top day. Made a new enemy Stop. Making. Enemies. DOG: he drives around in a van playing music to LURE KIDS INTO HIS WEB OF EVIL He sells ICE CREAM. DOG: YEAH.
DOG: how long til u be home. Told you I'll be in at 7. You ready for walkies!. DOG: YES. CAN WE TAKE THE BALL You want the ball. DOG: YES. Who wants the ball DOG: ME.
DOG: guess who left the back gate open. Get back here NOW. I'm waiting... Where ARE you. GET HOME NOW. DOG: I'm stuck. FFS where. DOG: underneath the neighbours fence.
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