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Self Hatred

natalee
natalee • 182 followers

Looking at myself in the mirror
Will I ever be okay?
Wishing everything could be clearer
There's nothing left to say

Spend my whole life wishing
I could be someone else
Losing sense of feelings,
Drowning
The old me is put back on the shelf

Hating everything about me,
Wish I could crawl into a hole
I'm not good enough for anyone,
This lifetimes getting old

I can't even stand to talk anymore
Who would want to hear what I have to say?
I've been struggling inside my own mind
For five years and a day

The fight is getting harder
I think I've nearly lost
I could give up, stop trying
But what would be the cost?

I want things to get better
I need to get some help
But it's hard to fix your problems
When the problem is yourself

#depression #general #inner-struggle #mental-health #personal-growth #self-reflection
natalee

@natalee

I don't have much to tell you. I'm Nat, I'm 15, and I'm ridiculously boring

100
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Comments & Feedback (10)

naaviie
naaviie
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:12 PM

I don't like liking this honey 😓 what's wrong? hugs

leelee101
leelee101
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Mmm I'm with @naaviie, too too sad 😢

natalee
natalee
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:35 PM

@naaviie @leelee101 I know...I felt horrible writing it too. I've felt horrible for a while now and...it's just so hard! I'm trying to be happy, I'm trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter but I'm kind of breaking apart. I'm not trying to be dramatic, it's just that I have nobody to talk to so I come to Opuss. I feel like I'm letting everyone down all the time, even just by writing this. I'm sorry. I really am trying my hardest >.<

Burrfoot
Burrfoot
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:40 PM

💪💪 by recognising and writing about it you are one step ahead of it. Keep fighting doll and look for the good times. I came to Opuss in similar circumstances but I can't under emphasise the I

Burrfoot
Burrfoot
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Importance of finding and developing real friends.. Widen your catchment circle, join real life writing groups.. Anything. You will succeed and you are worth it

leelee101
leelee101
Sep 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM

@natalee no need to apologise hun! ❤ I don't know why you're felling this way, and I won't pry either. Just feel you're a bit harsh on yourself. But you've got an outlet and people to talk to here so hopefully things will get better for you real soon 👍🌹

naaviie
naaviie
Sep 13, 2012 at 11:12 PM

Don't ever apologise, if you feel it, write it, it's expressive. Good to get it of your chest for a bit, I hope it helps. 💚💜💚💜 we're never far away, but perhaps consider talking to your doc?

TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks
Sep 13, 2012 at 11:35 PM

I feel for you sweetheart - we all do - but I'm with @naaviie, if it doesn't improve see a doc. Depression can be a killer. xxx🌹

natalee
natalee
Sep 14, 2012 at 2:35 AM

@Burrfoot @leelee101 @naaviie @TheCodsPollocks thanks so much everybody, your support really really means a lot to me. I'm going to try my hardest to feel my best and do my best. If it does get worse though...yeah, I was considering seeing a doctor. Thanks again for being here guys ❤

naaviie
naaviie
Sep 14, 2012 at 11:09 AM

No problem, good luck sweetie 💚💚💚💚

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