The Slob's View On Hippies

Don't get me wrong, I love hippies and everything, but they are a completely useless bunch of people. They don't farm meat, they don't contribute anything. I guess they're good company for lonely trees. And pretty good at eating raw seeds and nuts (and someone has to eat them). But how does that help in the slightest? I mean, great, you're in touch with nature. So am I! There's a mug of what used to be coffee on the side over there and I had to move it slightly the other day to get some paper from under it. What's more natural than evolving coffee? Nothing. That's what.

And another thing. How can they possibly live without TV. Useless... Lovely... Nature loving... Beautiful... Useless... Hippies!