If you really want us to watch football,
If you really really do,
There are a few things you should and should 't do;
Sit the hell down and don't shout in my ear.
& there will not be any of those funky horns here.
Do not holler for me to bring you a drink in the break,
I am not your skivvy and I will not tolerate.
Do not shout and curse at the men on the pitch,
You're not the coach -
Carry on they'll find you in a ditch.
You want to watch this bloody game but then
You talk right through,
About how much of a better job that you'd do.
Then there's the one thing that grates on me worst,
Is all those stupid little chants you sing till your lungs burst!
So if you wanna watch it,
Best adhere to the above,
Cause if you don't - be warned
We won't be watching it love!
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