A true story...
"Best you don't tell anyone, it'll be a secret-mine & yours. Besides, I'm sure it happens,
behind other peoples doors.."
So when 5yrs old she picked me up
from school
Swollen lip, eye black and blue
And my best friend stared and asked me,
I replied
'Soon your mum will look like that too'
Of course, my best friend had her secrets
Jehovah parents fuelled her fear
But to show her loyalty to me
She broke the mould that year
I remember the forbidden Xmas card, she pushed secretly into my hand
And I cried as I knew the lengths
to which she'd schemed and planned
with discarded tinsel, glitter, card and
borrowed glue..
As if to say
" It's ok-we're just the same, me and you."
And the years passed, but no let up
His drinking and temper only got worse
At 9yrs old, thoughts of
'Could it be my fault?
Was my birth some kind of curse?'
And the guilt from not protecting her
was hard to overcome
Until the night, he pushed too far and
dug out his old shotgun
Loaded it in front, of his three children
Terrified
Beat her round the head, oblivious to pleas and cries..
Hiding my brother and sister
I made the jump from window to the street below
Promising them this time I'd get help-
A neighbour or policeman who could overthrow...
I ran frightened down back roads and alleys
To where I thought he wouldn't find me
A remote phone box-made the 999 call, thinking finally
Now we'll be free
But no such thing as child protection then,
Just a slap on the wrist and a warning
One week later, copper returns the shotgun,with a smile and a bright
'Good Morning'.....
Eventually she left him
But by then the damage was done
A violent legacy imprinted in the mind
Of two daughters and his only son
Grown up with kids of my own now
And the knowledge strikes me even more so
That every child growing up
Just needs their dad to be
their hero
When you're programmed to love someone you hate
The line is such a fine divide
A lost childhood and trust that is broken
Just fucks you up inside.
All rights reserved
Fly10 Leigh 2012
Want to join the conversation? Sign in to leave a comment.