It's A Gas

The glint in her eye,
Her legs went sky high, when I met the key to my heart.

I knew from that moment, as quick as it was, that no more I could openly fart!

The belle of the ball, a lady of grace she twisted like a whirlwind on heat.
I knew in myself my diet should change and perhaps I should cut down on meat?

As i slipped me wet palm onto her hip and i whispered a line from the king
Are you lonesome tonight?
And from thereon we danced to begin the beguine.

As we gyrated and grooved and got in the mood,
I had and an inkling of where this might end.
And to avoid a gaseous mishap I took leave to blow a tune down the disco loo bend.

We got home to her digs a palace of pink to endure,
We cavorted and kissed ooh it were bliss! Until she screamed in me ear
'I want more!'

So I puffed out me chest and clenched me bum cheeks and me little man stood proud as a tree.
This was the time and this was the place my little white soldiers were soon to be free!

But despite me best efforts to hold me gas in, it shot out like a cork from me arse, and the passionate night spent with the gal of me dreams, was alas the first and me last.

So all you guys a girding your loins beware the curse of yer gas, cause as eggs is eggs it'll creep up behind and the clinch that you're in may well be your last!