With immediate affect, all new Oppussians will be welcomed to our fair isle as follows.
On signup. All new members will be asked to complete a short form detailing their Aptitude, Reading skills, Social assessment and Essayist capabilities (or A.R.S.E. for brevity).
Once completed the individual concerned may wish to further their knowledge of the App via a quick Preliminary Investigative Structure Support (or P.I.S.S.). This will ensure candidates are suitable to join the community.
At this point an individual may request a recess, simply complete form 3b, the Self Historical Inverse Thesis (or S.H.I.T.).
Once formalities are complete, our budding Opussians will attend a Compulsory Revision of Advanced Posting (C.R.A.P.), this will thoroughly familiarise our new members to our comments system.
Finally, before being set free to explore our beautiful land, we need to find out a few last details and this will be done via the Group Assessment Yes-no Late Ommision Report Data sheet (G.A.Y.L.O.R.D.).
And that's it.
To summarise (briefly);
New Opuss applicants will on signup have their ARSE checked, after which they are free to take a PISS, or even a SHIT. Once they are happy we must run through the CRAP to see if they're a GAYLORD.
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