They call me gaz the man who knows all
I know the facts however big or small
Never talk to the old lady down the road as she's a moaner
It's illegal to own a framed picture of Ian Beale in Arizona!
Ask me anything no matter how mad
But don't ask me about bambi as it still makes me sad!
How did you like this story?
Your feedback helps gazplend understand what's working
@gazplend
30 something,Staffordshire, England, never judge a cover by its book.
Similar Stories
Texts From My Dog 34
DOG: nice chat with the cat from next door I thought you hated cats. DOG: myth. Dogs love cats DOG: cats love mice.
48 words
Troll Science
The second of many. Antigravity Theories: Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands butter side down. Method: attach some toast, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
64 words
The Incredible Adventures Of Captain Alopecia
Adult language used. It was the Big Day. I had prepared for this day for months and now it was time the criminal community met their match.
428 words
Blondes And Mice
One day two blondes went to separate pet shops and bought a mouse. When they got home they realised that they're going to have to find a way to tell them apart.
183 words
How Can I Help You Today? (Entry I)
My name is Janine, I'm in the 'call' business It may seem obscene, But it's my only weakness.... Janine: Hello Big Boy, How Can I Help you today. Caller 1: My name's Pete and I like to display.
472 words
How To Play Musical Instruments
A thick kid asks the thicker kid some questions. Thick: How do u play the drum. Thicker: Bang bang wallop Thick: Violin. Thicker: Screech Thick: Cow. Thicker: Make them talk - Moo.
49 words
to do list
1. make vanilla pudding. put in mayo jar. eat in public. 2. hire two private investigators. het them to follow each orher. 3. wear shirt that says life. hand out lemmons on a street corner. 4.
131 words
Household Challenge
L,l,l,ladies & Gentlemen!!. As you may have noticed I had OBVIOUS heatstroke earlier by thinking evolution happened in the household, personally I blame Spider Venom.
119 words
Comments & Feedback (13)
@minxyMolly because 9 would just be plain silly mols! Have you ever seen an animal with 9 legs? Consider yourself learned,my pleasure ๐๐
@sjw because they eat only hamsters and chicken nuggets which are found on the ground and have had no need to evolve wings,duh!! ๐๐xx
@minxyMolly because that would attract moths to there tails and as we all know,cats are notoriously scared of moths and other light attracted flying insects,my pleasure mols ๐๐
@TheCodsPollocks no your out by 7.5 million years and the song 'only you' by the flying pickets! Close though mate ๐๐
Want to join the conversation? Sign in to leave a comment.