My cavern of escape. | | Kik: N.R.Johnson
The smell of alcohol. From your breath. Again. I want to disappear. Again. I want to scream, cease to exist, tear myself apart. Again. I have to escape. This labyrinth. From myself. From the smell.
Another love. Same place. Different feel. Different face. Another joy. Same heart. Different blood. Different start. Another spring. Same fall. The breaking of. Another wall. Other feet. In the grass.
I turn in the most ungracious way and see her standing there in the hallway, looking at me. Staring straight through what's left of my cold, petty soul. It burns, the way hot sand burns your feet.
The other day I saw a girl with so much blood in her face. Gravel in her mouth and a dead look in her gaze. And still we dare call ourselves the human race.
When you're feeling low. Smudge that makeup on. All your little problems. Soon they will be gone. Perfection you must reach. Or you will not fit in. You mustn't weight that much.
Merely fractions. Of when. All the actions. Spoke louder. Than lies. Causing. Midnight cries. To burn. Like love do. I hate it. But I miss you. So much. I'm fading away. I don't. Need you to stay.
This music. These headphones. They've like, grown. Into my bones. I free my soul. I lose my mind. Shivers race. Down my spine. More than music. Or moving air. You see me. But I'm not there.
What the stars gave. The earth took. I watched. As the sun. Dried. Snow went pitch black. Darkness turned. Into light. As the world. Died. Time stopped forever. Red like fire. When. The forrest. Fell.
In a lost town you will find. A boy who never spoke his mind. The boy that no one ever heard. He only said a single word. Everything was left unsaid. Locked up inside his head.
Escape. This shell. Need life. Want love. Crave hell. The world. Turn it around. Live between. The silence. The sound. Crawl out. Of this. Feel her. Her touch. Her kiss. Dry it up. My soul. Be broken.
Different letters. Different years. Same place. Same tears. But I do not hurt. I don't get cold. I do not feel. It's getting old. Special day. Still the same. "Thank you, Glad you came".
Eyes that are so pretty. Though I see it in your stare. Behind your fancy clothes. And in your darkened hair. You carry all these secrets. They're killing you inside. From your inner demons.
See me as I am drowning in the rivers of life. Look into my empty eyes and wash me up on the shores of surrender.
A thousand pieces from the scattered door. Laying all across the bloodstained floor. Drawers where she kept her deepest secrets hid. Dark memories from when she was a kid.
The road of heavy hearts. The house of broken dreams. The children as they cry. Behold her as she screams. Some faces just look empty. Some are filled with pain. They don't know what to do.
Four years. Four years of sleepless nights, silent screams and everlasting nightmares. Dreams of us. Still climbing trees and feeling small as we watch the stars from the roof of your house.
He had. Brown hair. Perfect soul. Golden heart. He has. Vacant stare. For has been. Torn apart. He feels. No joy. Lack of silver. Lack of gold. To be. Her boy. The world. He sold. To love. He fears.
A very dark winter night. Over thirty years ago. Was walking by himself. In the newly fallen snow. Two lights approached. Too fast for him to see. Red stains hit the trees. At once he ceased to be.
Show your love. Reel me in. Don't make it end. Let it begin. Pick me up. Throw me away. Just like trash. But it's okay. It strangles me. Your golden hair. I cannot breathe. I get no air.
Snow slowly falls onto the frozen street. And once again the world is still. Always moving but so very still. And my life passes me by as I lay there, frozen. I can't run away anymore. Can't scream.
If this man could he would sail to and feel the sun. Just by leaving home, the battle of his dreams he had won. But lurking in the shadows there're no butterflies and rainbows.
Children run with bare feet over dewy fields of green grass. Mothers will watch them sail away as time will pass. The dream of every young boy, to be a great warrior.
A lady who dreams of taking the step out the big wooden door. She doesn't have anything in particular to live for. For ten years she has slept under the same dull stars.
Rob the white had a very, very bad habit. He was a blood thirsty, meat eating, heart wrenching rabbit.
Lack of lights. Comfort me. Sleepless nights. I do not see. Tuck me in. Hide it all. Tear my skin. Let me fall. Fear the day. Love the dark. Go away. Leave no mark. Water drops. Down my spine.
White lines for sadness and sorrow. Blue pills for never ending joy. No one ever gives a shit. If you're a man or boy. Always the money. It's all for the wealth. You can sniff it or shoot it.
In darkness I linger. Your dreams I eat. Not made of tissue. Nor of meat. In nightmares I lurk. On screams I feed. No soul I have. Pure fear I breed. I'll tell you a secret. I don't like being me.
Lonesome woman. Whispers into thin air. Wearing torn clothes. Matching torn hair. Nighttime screams. Slowly tears apart. What still remains. Of her dreary heart. Lacking happiness. There is just pain.
I'm a hermit crab without a shell. A traveler with nowhere to go. A salesman with nothing to sell. I'm a winter without snow. I'm a guitar without its strings. A window facing brick walls.
World is cruel. It ain't scary. Fear is just. Imaginary. Behind bars. Of darkness. All alone. More or less. Mentally. I cut my wrist. I ask myself. Do I exist. I hide myself. Behind the pain. Who am...
Take a needle Find your vein Stick it in Feel no pain Feeling down.
Caressing your cold back, making you shiver as my hand travels up your cold spine. Making you smile widely in your tiredness. Eyes still closed.
Blue eyes and frizzy hair. You tightly hold your teddybear. Tiny toes and cheeky grin. Always kiss me cheek and chin. Cute dress and gooey face. You light up this dreadful place.
How about coming over to my house. Nothing special of course. I could come meet you at your place before the darkness sets in. By your window, waiting, you'd be.
Kicks and a punch. Marks and bruises. After dinner and lunch. Consciousness looses. Ropes and wire. Tied to a pole. Hurts like fire. Burns the soul. Flesh apart. Lemons and lime. Burning heart.
Next to me. The warmth of you. Sleeping beauty. Resting peacefully. If only you knew. You frighten me. You chill me to the core, Tear me apart. Then you set me free.
I'm grasping for air but there is none. Once again This fucking emptiness has won. The battle of worthlessness. Simple. I'm nothing, I confess. Shadows I embrace. It's still clear.
Under the sheet. Lovers meet. Lost people. Swept from their feet. Blue twisted places. Unknown faces. Lost people. That the mind erases. Pretty little stars. Speeding cars. Lost people.
Looking out your fogged up window, where the autumn leaves fall. Slowly, towards the fogged up ground, coloring the concrete wall. Orange evening skies and heavy raindrops.
The stench of dead souls. Rotting dreams. Withering goals. Sound of nothing is all around. Screaming from beneath. A billion bodies in the ground. Shadows eating what still is. Poisoning the blood.
How many times will a man fly Before he crashes to the ground and dies. How many times can a lion roar Before his throat goes dry and soar.
One night Amie snuck out after bedtime to watch the pretty night sky. She tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as possible. Her heart clenched when a loud creak escaped beneath her tiny feet.
Every night just before three year old Amie closed her eyes and fell asleep her mother would sing a lullaby. "Sleep now my dearest love. What I treasure most is you. Dream of a pretty white dove.
She can't breathe anymore. Struck by beams of light. Reaching for the door. Vacancy of the night. Trying to scream. Trying to get away. From this light beam. She's caught, she must obey.
On the train again. Alone again. The lights flicker as I stare at all these objects created by man for our comfort. Meaningless, unimportant. Just like me. As I used to be at least.
The helpless sound of fear running past. Run. Run. Run. Fast. A ruthless laughter in the foggy air. Running. Screaming. Pain. Despair. Cries from children, blood dripping. Pulling. Tearing. Flesh.
Could I stay here forever. Please. Just lay here. Where you cuddle yourself in at night. Where you slowly, fearlessly drift in to sleep. Protected, like a mother protects its child.
If an apple hits you in the head. It most likely fell from a tree. Probably you know this though. It's the physical law of gravity. Of course this famous one too.
I could tell you the earth is flat. And I promise you'd believe me. You wouldn't have a doubt. I'm good at what I do, you see. All people are nice, Love is easy and the sky is green.
We spread our wings, fly so high. Listen to my racing heartbeat. Feet on the ground, head in the sky. Grass tickling our bare feet. Running til legs won't carry us. Under the moon, so vivid and...
This chaotic rain keeps on falling. It hurts me, I'm one big bruise I'm down on my knees, crawling. Inside me, a bomb, ignite the fuse. Run me over with a car. Or with a speeding train.
A hollow kiss on these fake lips Vacant hands on your fake hips An empty stare into your fake soul Fake dreams and fake goals Relying on that fake touch For no words, you fake much Laying alone...
A bird can't be in a cage It will keep on existing But die at young age Try take the bird away It will cry It will beg to stay It imprisons despite will No dreams allowed This place, it's in for...
Again the world is grey. Alone by myself I lay. On this bed of sharpened knifes. Thinking of the loss of lives. Whishing to live forever. This will happen, never. Immortality is just a simple lie.
A lost face In a lost place Stuck in a maze A closed door Can't take it anymore The silence of a lions roar Another fight Black, lack of light White, white, white.
A man sees two children. Two children whom have never seen much of the world. Two children, abandoned, alone in the cold winter night. Just as everybody else he walks past them. Carelessly.
Wrap me up in white silk. Hide me. So the world I will not see. The lingering fear, it revolves. It's all around. Quiet. Don't make a sound. Be not what you desire. Or the fear you will awake.
Oh the irony. Of what you are. Of what you used to be. You meant the world to me. I told myself over and over you were bad. Perhaps only cause you taught me hate. You made me sad.
It's so wrong, seeing him there. Laying in a bed that isn't his. Breathing air that isn't his. Surrounded by walls that aren't his. Walls of death. Why do they paint the walls in this color.
The distant cry. A larva, longing. To be a butterfly. The sorry flicker of a fire. No longer casting shades. Longing to burn higher. The baby angel, desperately sings. Songs about sadness.
Since she was only five. She's been used to a punch or a kick. She feels it's a privilege to be alive. Because she is fatally sick. Even though her time has a limit she does not grief.
I watch as if in a trance. Explosions burning in the starlit night. Shining brighter than the sun. Majestic music playing in the sea of light. My blood goes warm,. it rushes through me.
I run for my life but I seem to go nowhere. I wish I could grow some wings and fly. She put chains on me with just her stare. She holds me back, she won't even let me try.
The moon covered by nighttime fog The distant howling of a restless dog The hollow scream of a helpless man. The disappearing of a dark blue van. Creatures lurking in the dead of night.
This girl, with a stare so empty it drills a hole straight through me, who is she. The world she does not see in the same way. She looks shattered. Torn.
I walk on the sidewalk to the total absence of sound. The penetrating quietness leaves much unknown. No questions are answered while the world sleeps.
How many people pass by in a day. From how many of them you walk away. So many lives we'll never get to know. The story of their life, people easily won't show. Ever stopped to think for a while.
I've always been sure of who I am. Until just about a year ago I considered myself a lion, not a lamb When my mind you came to blow. You make my heart beat at astounding speeds.
Oh come on, you think I don't hear. Your so transparent it makes me ill. I know the things you say when I'm not near. You try to make them obey your will. You can try. But facing me you'll regret.
In your arms you hold the stars and the sun Therefore you shall never cease to run. For if you cease to run, the eternal sea of everything, will be none. You are a star that will blow up soon.
I stare at my wall. Why I don't know. It's not like it's fun or so. Maybe it's because of hurt feelings. Or I just got tired of staring at ceilings. I now stare at the stars in the sky.
Another evening fight. Another"I'm wrong your right" It's become a habit. She swings her arm at him. He will grab it. He will win. This time she is wrong. Within seconds he is gone.
In the valley of despair she lost her soul and ripped her hair. She cried for years, fifteen in fact. Incredibly, she was still intact. One day in the bath she made it flood.
In the beginning of life as I know it I asked you something that changed me. I asked you what your dreams were. You told me "I have only one.
All alone with my thoughts on the cliffs I sit. The sun just set, one half of the moon is lit. As lonely as a tree only in company with the wind. I lay down, watching the stars fade in.
One rose I put beneath you last valentines day. Then I opened my wings and flew away. I said to you I love you so much. I love your voice I love your touch. You wrote on a paper and gave it to me.
This is a plain little story. Not of grief nor of glory. This is the story of a little lost boy. Who searched the world, looking for joy. One day it just disappeared.
His hand caressing her collarbone as they lay on a hill next to an old tree under the starlit sky. Her light shiver, caused by something as simple as the thought of him, shines of innocence.
Creatures without souls lurk in the everlasting darkness of every life on earth. They wait for their chance to devour us, making us a part of them. These are the people we love the most.
The warmth of summer rain. The total lack of internal pain. A hug, a long embrace. These arms around me, this beautiful face. She loves me it seems. It's always the same. No love, only dreams..
It is said that after rain comes sunshine. Rain never pours down and thunder never make the heavens tremble. I am never reminded of that I am alive.
The Diamond sword. Owned by the evil lord. Thousand iron shield's that never yield A battle of fire and ice. The shredding of human lives. Memories, since long forgotten.
A stranger. Dancing in the rain. In red shoes of silk. Washing off the pain. A stranger. I saw the other day. Running so fast. Drifting away. A stranger. Walking barefoot over fields of glass.
I fear that my children won't get to know my grandpa, the man who taught me what life is about..
One of my deepest fears is that my father won't be there long enough to walk my sister down the aisle when the time comes..
As bringing joy to the girl that never got a dance. As gaining trust in the friend that never got a chance. As blowing dust of the book you never gave a glance. I'm starting over..
Never will one find a person as innocent and genuine as a child. For there the world has not yet judged..
I believed you kept the darkness from reaching me. When really, you were the darkness.
I stare at the ceiling Silence Water dripping Silence People screaming Silence.
The murderer of a child laying there, all red, lifeless. Heart ripped from the chest. Bones smashed to crumbs. Inhumane. Immoral. Satisfying..
The lion, majestically striding back and forth in its cage, hungering. The flower, swaying in the wind, lost, longing. The bird, stuck in time, forced to fly in circles, yearning..
This freaking heartache What does it take For it to end.
Dancing I the moonlight Forever you said Watching the sunrise Forever you said Singing sweet melodies Forever you said Seeing you walk away My forever is dead.
Fire is beautiful. But fire does burn. Touch fire and it hurts you will learn. Choose my friend, choose wisely and fast. For the flames of fire long does not last..
Run For your life Run For they are coming Run For you cannot hide Run Or you will die.
Happiness and sorrow exist in relation to each other. They are interdependent. The more sorrow a man has felt, the happier he can become..
I'm falling. The ground, coming closer and closer. I never reach it. Stuck between what is calm and what is chaos. I don't want to be stuck. Please give me chaos..
Silhouettes, dancing as the sun go down, creating nothing but shapes, moving slowly as the wind gently rocks them to sleep. No colors, no details. Only the contrast of black in the orange sky..
I envy you. I envy you because you're happy. You made me choose. I chose what was right, even though it was torturing me. For that I am lonely. I am being punished for not doing the wrong thing.
Ever thought about trying to explain colors. We all know what the color red is. Explain it. Well, it is red. As that car over there. But what if my red really is your blue and someone else's yellow.